The bird

The Boy and I have some of our best "what did you do today" conversations while at the swingset when he comes home from school. I'm so glad that when I start work Monday (ugh) I'll still be home for this part of our day.

The other day he put his middle finger up in the air and said, "This is a bad finger isn't it, mommy."

"Well, it's only a bad finger if you hold it up like that," I replied. "Where did you learn that?"

"At school. S.avannah did it at recess."

She also dropped the F bomb. I'm so relieved that naughty behavior isn't reserved for boys alone (just kidding - we all know I can be naughty).

In totally related news, The Boy finished the week with five stickers on the calendar, one for each day. That's a full week of no notes from the teacher and no visits to the principal!

Woo Hoo!

Rock on

Very exciting times here in the city.

O.zzy is coming.

November 9.

It's a strange system they have here for selling concert tickets. This morning I had to go get a wrist band that is numbered. On Saturday I have to return to that site by 9:00 at which time the doors will be locked. They will draw a number out of a hat. That person gets first choice at seats, then they call out subsequent numbers after that person. It prevents people from camping out on site. They assured me that people would already be setting up camp if they didn't sell tickets on this lottery system.

There are about 6 sites that will sell tickets. MFH got his wristband at another site, so we can increase our chances at good seats.

The venue for concerts here is the same arena they use for most everything - rodeos, the arenacross we spoke of at fair time, hockey games, etc. There are quite a few nose bleed seats. I commented to MFH that as he has waited his whole life to see O.zzy in person, it would be a shame to have to sit clear up there. He said he'd rather have great seats, but to hear him in concert is better than to miss it because the seats were crappy.

Seat prices are $49.75, $69.75, and $89.75.

O.zzy's special package seats through his fan club are $999.00, $599.00, and $333.00. (What - no $666.00?)

I came home this afternoon and shopped where I always shop for those hard to find items, E.bay.

I scored two tickets on the floor in the third row for a total of $449.75.

It's quite possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity for us.

I'm so glad I won't be spending a Saturday standing in line for bad seats.

It's settled then

I go to work Monday morning, October 1. My hours will be 8 - 2:30.

I am not all that excited about it. But, they were so willing to work with me on my time schedule, and they did meet my asking wage, so I'll give it a shot. I do still work for my old company, and I will continue to do so. Since they keep insisting that it's a temporary situation that will end as soon as they hire and I train someone, and since we still have two mortgages, and since The Boy is gone the same hours I will be gone, there is no reason not to give it a shot.

Who knows? I may like it.

Even though I'd rather be at home with my puppies.

(They are starting to get the whole go-outside-to-pee-and-poop thing.)

Disappointed

The main reason we have a young college-scholarship-seeking-nhl-hopeful hockey player living with us is to provide a positive role model for The Boy. It's a good way to bring a mentor into his life as well as establish a relationship as part of our family.

In our old town, the coaches were adamant on one issue - the player would spend time with the host family, not just use the facility as a bed and breakfast. I don't know if the coaches here share that philosophy but after enduring their speeches on how they were seeking a team of young men who wanted to work hard to win a national championship, I doubted that they wanted the players running amok each and every night. On the other hand, if they can get that national championship, maybe they don't care how they go about it.

Paul's parents were so excited that he was coming to a home that had a sit down home cooked dinner every night. They raved about how good he is with small children.

If we put The Boy in a room with 5 of the players from this hockey team, he wouldn't be able to pick Paul out, that's how much time he's spent here in the past week.

Of the seven nights he's been here, he's been late for curfew four times. He hasn't been home one night before The Boy went to bed. He hasn't made it to one family meal. He comes home at ten whatever o'clock, wants to eat, goes to bed, gets up at noonish, eats breakfast, leaves and ....lather, rinse, repeat.

The housing coordinator called me yesterday to see how it's going, and I told her. Perhaps he'd be happier living in a different house, or with his total disregard for the organization's rules, back at his own house in his hometown.

We've lost that lovin' feeling.

Words

The Boy and I have always played word games like "what rhymes with bean?"

Lately he's been doing different kinds of word associations, such as the word duck that can mean the bird or to lower your head.

Everyday when he gets home from school we go outside to the swingset. He loves to be pushed on the swings, much to his dad's chagrin. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with working smarter instead of harder," I tell dad.

Well today we were sitting there talking. He told me he ate eight oreos. I took this opportunity to use that particular play on words. I said, "You ATE EIGHT. Do you get it?"

"Wow, mom," he replied. "Deep."

!

(he didn't really - I counted them)

Pulling a color

So this is the discipline method they use at The Boy's school.

Each day each student starts with a green card. One infraction merits a yellow card. Another will get you red, and the final one is orange.

Red gets a note sent home from the teacher.

Orange gets a visit with the principal.

Friday, Monday, and Tuesday were good. On Wednesday, Brendan sat on The Boy's head at recess. (I know - WTF?) The Boy couldn't breathe, he said, so he pinched Brendan hard on the leg so he'd get off his head.

I thought that was pretty effective, and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. However, Mrs. R. saw fit to have both of the boys "pull red" resulting in a note home.

We have a sticker thing going on here at home. Everyday there is no note or no visit to the principal, The Boy puts a sticker on the calendar. He earns money for the stickers. Now, I know many of you won't agree with the money incentive, and that's okay. All I will say is money works for The Boy. I see it much the same as having a job - I don't work for free, and school is his job. Plus, I don't buy him toys. Period. He must earn the money to buy toys. So, he was very bummed on Wednesday that there was no sticker.

Today he made sure to earn a sticker.

Speaking of jobs, I called my prospective employer yesterday and told her that I will not work full-time. The Boy asked not to be put in after school care, and I will honor that request. I have a feeling they'll come back at me with a lesser hourly wage, which if you think about it, is really stupid. I will not be getting benefits and that saves them money. The wage will determine whether or not I take the job, though. I told them I'd come to work after I put The Boy on the bus at 7:40, and I need to be home at 3:00 when he gets off the bus.

I feel so much better.

Busted

"Were you calling us?"

They are both males. We've always had a preference for male animals. We will alter them. Even so, they will be registered with AKC and given the token fancy schmancy names that go along with all that.

Yellow - Carbon County's Shane Ridge. He's named after a section of land we own about 40 miles from here. His common name is Ridge.

Black - Ridge's Carbon Copy Angus. Angus is the name I'd chosen for my second son if we ever adopted again, which is not likely to happen.

It's nice to hear the pitter patter of little feet around the house again.

Even so, I am still mourning the loss of my old Coal.

He was house broken.

Thumbs up

When The Boy gets out of school, the principal walks them out to the bus. Each day she gives him a thumbs up, thumbs down, or flat hand to reinforce what kind of day he had. On both Friday and Monday he got a thumbs up!

Do I wish he didn't have this kind of relationship with his principal? Yes. But as Carla would say, that's just the way he rolls. He's never been one to let the fear of a consequence sway his choices or actions.

I like that about him.

Double Trouble

This is what happens at our house when you decide to "look" for a puppy.

You ask for a deal if you buy two instead of one because they are both just too damn cute.

For now they are simply Yellow and Black. I'm too busy alternately running them outside to pee and poop to come up with names for them.

So far, so good

No phone call from the principal or the teacher today.

Of course, there is still 15 minutes of the school day left, but I'm feeling optimistic.

We know our son is not a perfect little angel. I wouldn't want him to be that. But he has to know that he can come to us, talk to us, and that we'll believe him. He's never given us a reason not to believe.

Personally, I think that if someone is lying their story will change. His never does.

MFH looks for the shifting of the eyes. Good old psychology.

In any case, we have no reason to doubt him at this point.

On a different note, our hockey player will arrive tomorrow.

Paul.

Another Canadian goalie.

It's a curse for playing a joke on a Canadian goalie coach once upon a time.

A story for another day.

It isn't fair

I remember saying this as a child. Who among us doesn't?

When The Boy says it to me, I give him the canned response that my mother gave me - "Life isn't fair."

Yesterday when The Boy got to school, he sat down next to one of his friends. Bryce walked up to him, said "That's my spot" and kicked The Boy.

The Boy kicked him back.

"I didn't start it, mom."

But he definitely finished it.

When the principal called me, she admitted that she didn't see the altercation. Bryce walked up to her crying, and told on The Boy, who was then punished. Just The Boy.

The Boy has been sitting next to Bryce since school started. (The teacher moved Bryce yesterday.) One of the first things The Boy told me about school is that Bryce doesn't like him. When I asked why, he said, "I don't know. He just says he doesn't like me." Now, who in kindergarten says such a thing? I know feelings come and go, and you may not be friends for a day, but to just say "I don't like you" and mean it?

The Boy had to visit with the counselor, who instead of listening to him, lectured him on how to avoid confrontation. Big help. Do you think he lives with Neanderthals? We've taught him all that. We've taught him that it's never okay to start a fight. We've taught him that it's better if he can walk away. We've also taught him that it's okay to defend himself if he absolutely has to. It's a judgement call, and that will come with maturity. Yesterday he felt he had to defend himself.

When he came home we talked about the fight. "Bryce started that fight, mom. He always does. It's not fair that he never has to go to the principal with me."

No, it isn't fair. Sometimes life is sucky that way.

(for the record, we plan to visit the school if it happens again - and find out if and why the punishment is so one sided)

Torn

It's been a rough couple of days here at the Stiletto casa.

The Boy has been to the principal's office every single day this week.

The hardest part for me is that this morning he promised me he would try his very hardest to be good.

He promised.

And then he went to school and beat the tar out of a classmate.

To be fair, I will listen to his side of the story, even though we have talked about walking away instead of physically reacting when he's provoked.

I'll admit my defeat here. I don't know what to do.

The principal is having him speak to the school counselor to see if there's something going on that he won't tell us.

I know he's had a lot of change in his world. Everybody keeps telling me that he's only five and that he'll rebound, he's resilient, etc etc etc. To what degree, though?

Now there's this job thing. I don't want to work full-time. I want to be home when he's out of school. I told them I'd take the job. Now I want to tell them I will only work until 2:30 and if that's not acceptable they will have to find another person for the job.

My son and his welfare have to come first. I think he's had enough change for one year.

Dear Mom of The Boy:

The Boy had another (!) visit with the principal today about behaving with other children. He's had a tough time keeping his hands to himself and using kind words.

Mrs. R

Hm.

To myself I'm thinking "how bad could it have been that he was sent to the principal"?

And, why wasn't I informed about the first visit to the principal?

See, when I was teaching, albeit a hundred years ago or so, being sent to the principal was reserved for monumental problems. I don't know what that would be because I don't recall ever sending anyone to the principal's office. If a child was not a good citizen or a good friend, I had behavior consequences set in place in my room like missing recess or putting books in alphabetical order. Fun stuff!

I asked him what happened, and he said (of course) that Bryce started the fight. Apparently Bryce was calling Preston an idiot. So The Boy intervened, and he got caught.

I asked if Bryce also got sent to the principal and he said no.

Last night as a family, we talked about being a good citizen at school. We also talked about knowing when to just walk away instead of using our hands or unkind words.

We've been fighting this battle since The Boy was two years old and in daycare. When his buttons are pushed, he reacts quickly - much the same as his father and I do. We realize we need to set a better example for him.

Now what?

The project engineering firm filled the position. I was disappointed because I was so qualified for that job and they had great benefits. But, it was 7:30 to 5:30 and they weren't flexible on that point. The Boy doesn't get on the bus until 7:45, so it would have been difficult to comply.

I interviewed with another company, and I'm not sure I have all the qualifications they need, but it was a good interview for a great job. They said they'd call back for second interviews when the owner returned in ten days. This was last Wednesday.

The entry level position that I decided I didn't really want?

They called me yesterday and offered me the job. The hours are 8 to 5, but I can take a shorter lunch and work 8 to 4:30. They said it doesn't matter to them as long as I work 8 hours a day. The benefits are okay, but they don't kick in for 6 months. It won't really matter, because I still have benefits at my old job as long as I'm working which could be a while, and MFH's benefits kick in in October.

The shocker?

The met the wage I was asking for. That was going to be my reason to turn it down.

Putting off until tomorrow....

MFH is the great procrastinator. I knew this about him when we married. I also know that you can't change people. I guess I just hoped that with time I'd get used to it, but I never have.

By the end of last Monday we had all the fence post holes dug, the posts cemented in place, and dirt backfilled over top of the cement.

Tuesday afternoon he came home early from work to hang the chain link. He got all but about 10 feet of it done when he ran out of the ties to secure the fabric to the posts. He picked that up on Wednesday. And, he hasn't touched the fence since then.

Above is my dressing area. I am covering that awful purple. It's been like this since Thursday evening when I put the final coat on all the walls but that one. See, the mirror is attached to the wall and there is plumbing back there. I don't just want to pull the bureau out since I don't know how to shut off the main water to the house. I have asked him several times if he could help me with this.

If my MIL was here, she'd just jump in and move the damn thing. That's how she is, and she's very handy that way. But since the greatboobincidentof2007 I haven't seen much of her, and I'll be damned if I am going to ask for her help.

Now, to be fair, MFH is at our old place this weekend. He needed to winterize the sprinkler system and mow the lawn, and while there he decided to dismantle The Boy's swingset/fort and bring it here.

He asked me if I finished painting. "Did you want me to just paint around the bureau?" I asked. See, being a woman, I just thought it would be easier to do the whole wall at once.

Arghhhh.

This trait of his, in the words of my cyberfriend DD, drives me bat shit crazy.

Ink-redible

You know I have a fondness for tattoos.

Have you been lucky enough to catch K.at V.on D on TLC?

Hot, hot, hot that girl is!

Must put her new shop in Hollywood on my list of to-dos.

Thankfully it's a short list.

Anyone know of a good ink shop in NYC?

Just in case I cross that stop off my list first.

Wasting time

When I took The Boy to get his vaccinations, I waited one hour to get in. One hour. I had an appointment. It had taken two hours of my day by the time we left the clinic. I do not understand this problem with booking appointments. And, I realize the doctor went to school for 8 years and then did a residency, but that does not make her time more valuable than mine.

Today when I showed up for my first interview, I was annoyed right off the bat. This was the second interview with the same company. With the same person at the same company. The owners had planned to join in, but their flight was canceled and they would not be back in town until tomorrow. Why didn't she just call me, explain the situation, and reschedule?

I visited with her for an hour and a half during which time she complained of her frustrations with her job and the other employees.

The first five minutes with her, however, proved to be worth sitting there for the next 85 minutes. She had just one question for me.

"What will it be like for you to come into an entry level position with your qualifications and your experience?"

Entry level.

It is not the right fit for me.

One down.

When it rains, it pours

On August 7, I applied for a job I'd really like to have with a project engineering firm. I just knew without a doubt that it would be a great opportunity and that if I could secure this particular job, I would very likely retire from it.

That didn't keep me from applying for other jobs, too. Like the one that conducted the impromptu interview when I dropped off my application, or the county job that was filled from within like I figured it would be. There was also the accounting job with a very reputable wrecker/auto repair/auto parts business.

Finally last week, the engineering firm called me for an interview. Yes! I was so excited, and the interview went very well. But, one committee member is on vacation this week and another is on vacation next week, so they won't be making any decisions until at least the week of the 17th.

That same day I got called back in to the impromptu company. It would be a good job, but maybe not the one I'd want to keep longterm. I am going in for another interview with them tomorrow.

And today, the auto business called for an interview, also tomorrow.

Today my boss called, and I asked him what to do if I am offered the job that I'm not sure I want. "You could tell them that you are committed to me until the end of September, our busiest month of the year, and that you'll let them know then. Or, you could simply tell them that you are interviewing companies for the right job for you, and with the other opportunities on the table you'd like some time to think about it."

I appreciated his input. I just wonder if the employers I'm visiting with would be so compliant. He assured me that if it was him, he would be willing to wait.

The thing is, if one of these employers told me "We'd like to offer the position to this other person first, but if they don't take it, we'd like to hire you! Okay?" it wouldn't sit well with me.

How can I expect anything but the same from them?

Laboring

The blue bathroom is gone. Here is the finished product. I love this color, which is called Brass Tack. I am going to paint the purple dressing room this same color. I am so pleased with how it turned out.

When I was finished I exclaimed, "It's just the color I was looking for!" to which MFH replied, "On the first try?"

Smart alec. He's referring to the two gallons of paint I went through to get the color I wanted on the kitchen cabinets.

I wanted to accent with that lovely wine color in the shower curtain. I went with the green instead because The Boy said he would not dry off with red towels. Okay, I know it's silly that I gave in. It's a towel for crying out loud. But I know my son, and it would have been a battle everyday. I choose my battles carefully. Besides, it's not as though I don't love green. It's everywhere in my house.



This is what MFH and I worked on yesterday. Can you see it? Yes? It's the framework for the new chain link fence, right inside of the barbed wire fence that belongs to our neighbor. Today he hopes to hang what he calls the "fabric".

The previous owners had two sides of the fence done, but let this barbed wire serve as the other two sides. We have to finish it because there is a puppy in our near future.

We've bantered back and forth about this quite a bit lately. I told him I'm not ready for a puppy. I'm still grieving the loss of my old dog. But, MFH makes a good point. "Stiletto, Coal was your dog. My dog has been gone for almost two and a half years. I'm ready."

Life goes on.

Have a very relaxing Labor Day.

Too much time on my hands

You're Loosely Based!

by Storey Clayton

While most people haven't heard of you, you're a really good and
interesting person. Rather clever and witty, you crack a lot of jokes about the world
around you. You do have a serious side, however, where your interest covers the homeless
and the inequalities of society. You're good at bringing people together, but they keep
asking you what your name means.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.