Home again, home again, jiggety jig
MFH has started taking the boy to preschool in the morning. I've been taking him and picking him up for three years, but that's when his school was near my work so it made perfect sense. Now it's close to our home and dad is taking part in this whole process. Today the boy wanted to take his blankie to school. Dad said no. Boy cried all the way to school and then some. Teachers call and the end result is the boy has a headache and is lethargic and needs to come home. So here we are. He is fine. I don't doubt he has a headache from all the crying, but he is fine otherwise.
Sometimes he needs this security blanket, other times not. I don't know, nor does anyone else for that matter, what these adopted kids remember from their previous lives or what impact it has to be taken from their homeland and forced into a new situation. The boy is very well adjusted and always has been. He is happy. He is a normal toddler. This blankie is all he has of Guatemala. He is attached to it. I don't have a problem with that, but I have been accused of being a softie. ;) When it comes to the boy I don't doubt that I am.
On April 1 we went to a 40th birthday party. Four of us women ended up in the kitchen visiting. The other three are all stay at home moms. Mom 1 is mid 30's with two teenaged kids from a lousy previous marriage and toddler twins from this one. Mom 2 is early 30's with three kids, 2 in school and the third starting this fall. Mom 3 is late 20's with two kids, one 4 and one 18 months. Mom 4 (me) is mid 40's with one almost 4 year old and a full time job outside the home. On that night I learned that I was the only woman in that room that is not on anti-depressants.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am not dissing anyone who medicates for any reason. Parenting is hard work, as is running a household. I am just wondering if it would help for these ladies to get jobs and get out of the house more, or would that be worse? I guess I'm wondering if I'm missing the boat here. Any comments?
Sometimes he needs this security blanket, other times not. I don't know, nor does anyone else for that matter, what these adopted kids remember from their previous lives or what impact it has to be taken from their homeland and forced into a new situation. The boy is very well adjusted and always has been. He is happy. He is a normal toddler. This blankie is all he has of Guatemala. He is attached to it. I don't have a problem with that, but I have been accused of being a softie. ;) When it comes to the boy I don't doubt that I am.
On April 1 we went to a 40th birthday party. Four of us women ended up in the kitchen visiting. The other three are all stay at home moms. Mom 1 is mid 30's with two teenaged kids from a lousy previous marriage and toddler twins from this one. Mom 2 is early 30's with three kids, 2 in school and the third starting this fall. Mom 3 is late 20's with two kids, one 4 and one 18 months. Mom 4 (me) is mid 40's with one almost 4 year old and a full time job outside the home. On that night I learned that I was the only woman in that room that is not on anti-depressants.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am not dissing anyone who medicates for any reason. Parenting is hard work, as is running a household. I am just wondering if it would help for these ladies to get jobs and get out of the house more, or would that be worse? I guess I'm wondering if I'm missing the boat here. Any comments?
posted by Well-heeled mom @ 10:02 AM
3 Comments:
At 11:30 AM,
DD said…
I think it takes balls of brass (or cans of platinum) to be a stay at home Mom. I could never do it. I need adult play time just as much as my son needs toddler interaction. The thing is in the situation you describe is that the Mommies can take the AD, the children cannot. Instead they take their blankies, lovies, fuzzies, etc. because hugs and kisses sometime don't do it for them.
That's my opinion, anyway
At 12:10 PM,
Not-So-Normal-Mom said…
Here goes my opinion....
I have three beautiful sons(12,9, and almost 3) and we are thinking of another next year. I have stayed at home with all of them, or my husband stays at home with them. He owns his own employees, so he has a flexible schedule, and I am a college English/Writing tutor with a part-time schedule. I spend a lot of time with my kids and I think it is very important to do so. I have never taken any medication, but I think that's because I recognize the importance of adult time. Our children want to spend time with us, but they also are okay with spending some time with others. It's called socialization, people! I know mommies and daddies have to work. I recognize that and I don't fault people for having to do their jobs. I feel very fortunate that I get to stay at home with my little guy. When the older ones were in school, I worked full time. I went back to part time when I had the little guy. Anyway, I think medication doesn't solve everything, there are probably other options, ya know?
At 5:10 PM,
chris said…
I think it's probably somewhat simplistic to attribute their need for anti-depressents to "not getting out of the house" enough. I'm sure there are many reasons they need medication. Hey, if I had twins and teenagers at home, I'd probably be on anti-depressents too.
By the way, I thought MFH meant my first husband. Which is hilarious. I may have to steal that one.
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