An eye for an eye?
I have a dilemma.
Every spring we throw a big bash to celebrate The Boy's birthday. We supply a huge buffet of food and all the drinks, including alcohol. We invite our friends that have children close to The Boy's age, and also the friends that were supportive of us during our quest to add to our family.
We've been friends with J and J a long time. They have three kids, only one of which is close to The Boy's age. We always include them.
I never expect people to bring a gift, and with many people I specify that they don't bring anything. The Boy has plenty of stuff as it is. Sure it's nice to get presents on your birthday, but he really has no idea who brings one and who doesn't.
On this past birthday, J and J didn't bring a gift. No big deal. Except she told The Boy that she didn't have time to shop (SAHM with two kids in school at that time), and since they were going to Edmonton for a hockey tournament, they would bring him a gift from Edmonton.
The Boy has a memory like an elephant. He has asked me when he's getting his hockey present from J. I don't care that they didn't bring him a gift, even though we have celebrated every one of their kid's birthdays with them for 10 years now. I just wish she wouldn't have told him she was going to bring him something, and then not do it.
This Friday is their daughter's birthday party. We just got the email. Their daughter is 4 years older than The Boy. Do we go and take a gift, go and not take a gift, or not go at all? (I hope it goes without saying that I would never say to The Boy, "Well, we're not taking H a gift for her birthday because she didn't get you one!" but I do think he'll say, "But mommy, she didn't get me a present." Yes, he is smart enough to put that together.)
What would you do?
Every spring we throw a big bash to celebrate The Boy's birthday. We supply a huge buffet of food and all the drinks, including alcohol. We invite our friends that have children close to The Boy's age, and also the friends that were supportive of us during our quest to add to our family.
We've been friends with J and J a long time. They have three kids, only one of which is close to The Boy's age. We always include them.
I never expect people to bring a gift, and with many people I specify that they don't bring anything. The Boy has plenty of stuff as it is. Sure it's nice to get presents on your birthday, but he really has no idea who brings one and who doesn't.
On this past birthday, J and J didn't bring a gift. No big deal. Except she told The Boy that she didn't have time to shop (SAHM with two kids in school at that time), and since they were going to Edmonton for a hockey tournament, they would bring him a gift from Edmonton.
The Boy has a memory like an elephant. He has asked me when he's getting his hockey present from J. I don't care that they didn't bring him a gift, even though we have celebrated every one of their kid's birthdays with them for 10 years now. I just wish she wouldn't have told him she was going to bring him something, and then not do it.
This Friday is their daughter's birthday party. We just got the email. Their daughter is 4 years older than The Boy. Do we go and take a gift, go and not take a gift, or not go at all? (I hope it goes without saying that I would never say to The Boy, "Well, we're not taking H a gift for her birthday because she didn't get you one!" but I do think he'll say, "But mommy, she didn't get me a present." Yes, he is smart enough to put that together.)
What would you do?
posted by Well-heeled mom @ 1:19 PM
3 Comments:
At 5:08 PM,
Not-So-Normal-Mom said…
Would you have bought a gift if she hadn't made "the promise"? I would buy the gift. At least a small token, you know?
At 6:40 PM,
[] said…
I agree. Better to set a good example for The Boy than to exact small revenge.
At 7:58 AM,
DD said…
A small gift is the most I would do. And even though it would be something I would steer my son from, if he asks again about his present, maybe you should suggest he ask the person who made the promise.
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