Agree to Disagree
There are certain topics that are sure to make my blood boil. One is the issue of Daycare vs. Stay at home mom.
I don't consider health insurance and a college fund for The Boy luxuries or fluff. These are necessities. If I don't take care of him, who will? I know that if he got sick he would be treated in spite of insurance, but then you all would pay in the end, and how responsible would that be of me, as his mother?
I am fortunate to make enough money that even after insurance, daycare, and my retirement fund, I still bring home some of my paycheck. I refuse to be looked down on for this. I refuse to be thought less of because I work outside the home.
My son is thoughtful and well mannered. He is an only child, yet he knows to share. He is 4.5 years old and can identify the alphabet by sight and sound. He knows his numbers. He has been speaking in sentences since he was 18 months old. He is considerate of those younger than him. These are all things that I'm not sure he would know if he were home with me, in spite of the fact that I have a degree in teaching.
I am wondering why, as women, we can't respect the fact that we are all in this together. We should support each other, not tear each other down. We all just want what's best for our children. Nobody is better able to make that decision for my son than me.
I don't consider health insurance and a college fund for The Boy luxuries or fluff. These are necessities. If I don't take care of him, who will? I know that if he got sick he would be treated in spite of insurance, but then you all would pay in the end, and how responsible would that be of me, as his mother?
I am fortunate to make enough money that even after insurance, daycare, and my retirement fund, I still bring home some of my paycheck. I refuse to be looked down on for this. I refuse to be thought less of because I work outside the home.
My son is thoughtful and well mannered. He is an only child, yet he knows to share. He is 4.5 years old and can identify the alphabet by sight and sound. He knows his numbers. He has been speaking in sentences since he was 18 months old. He is considerate of those younger than him. These are all things that I'm not sure he would know if he were home with me, in spite of the fact that I have a degree in teaching.
I am wondering why, as women, we can't respect the fact that we are all in this together. We should support each other, not tear each other down. We all just want what's best for our children. Nobody is better able to make that decision for my son than me.
posted by Well-heeled mom @ 8:43 AM
8 Comments:
At 9:13 AM,
hotdrwife said…
Well said!
You know, I am a SAHM, but am fortunate enough to be able to afford to put my son in day care a few days a week. I catch so much slack for this! There are women (always women!) at my husband's work who make snide comments. If I stay home, I should be with my child 24/7.
I look at the same way you do. It's good for him, it's good for me. I don't care one iota if you work outside the home or stay home full-time.
Life is too short to be worried about such things, you know?
Cheers!
At 12:44 PM,
Not-So-Normal-Mom said…
I'm with you both!!! On the flip side, my husband and I both work- A LOT, and don't have our little one in day care because we are fortunate to have flexible schedules. I hear from people all the time how I should get him into some kind of day care to "socialize" him. Like we never leave our house or let him play with other kids...it comes at you from both sides, no matter what you do. You just have to find what's right for you and your child.
At 12:44 PM,
Not-So-Normal-Mom said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 4:18 PM,
hotdrwife said…
My attitude on feminism is that it's not what you do, but that you have the choice to do what you want. Choice being the operative word. Therefore, I think there are a lot of people who miss what the true intent of feminism means.
At 8:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wow... it sounds like someone got under your skin. Fuckem. Your kid is a jewel which is testament that you're doing great as a mom.
At 1:39 PM,
Kristin said…
I agree with you wholeheartedly. As you know I've been struggling with the whole going-back-to-work thing but I think I've finally decided that it IS what's best for my child in my opinion and I'm not going to let people make me feel guilty about it!
Ask me tomorrow after my first day back at work how I feel though! Ha!
At 8:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
My mom worked outside the home, I think I turned out alright.
I work outside the home, my kids are now 20 and 15, they seem to have adjusted well.
It is all a matter of what works for you. In our case, it was either I work outside the home, or we don't have lights! an easy choice for us.
People are going to have a different opinion, it dosen't matter what you do.
Debbie from South Georgia
At 5:37 AM,
Anonymous said…
Well said my friend!
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