It's a wonderful life
I am worried about MFH.
It could be nothing more than a mid life crisis of sorts.
He wants to sell his boat because we only used it three times this summer. It's paid for, and I know three times isn't much, but it's better than not at all.
He also wants to sell his hunting guns because he doesn't use them.
Our neighbor just got back from a week long bow hunt, and brought home a beautiful big bull elk. (Beautiful if you like that kind of thing. Personally, I think they are more beautiful in their natural surroundings than hanging on my wall, but that's just me.) MFH commented that he realized "that will never be me."
I told him that if he needs to do that, then he should. By all means, realize your dreams if you have them.
I guess at 41 his life is not all he wants it to be. I don't think it's my fault, because I know the only happiness I can be responsible for is my own. Part of it is the cut in pay he took when we moved here, when that wasn't supposed to happen. Part of it is that parenting is hard - The Boy is closer to me than his dad, and I suppose that wasn't supposed to happen either - but only he has the power to change that. And, we are slow to make friends here. Friends have always been important to MFH. We have lots of acquaintances, but that is different than friends. I don't have an answer for that one.
Maybe we suck?
Anyway, his mother called last night VERY worried about him wanting to sell his boat. It's no secret that MFH loves to fish, probably more than anything else. We haven't spoken about their conversation, nor do I want to pry, but I suspect she blames me. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I just hope he can make it better.
It could be nothing more than a mid life crisis of sorts.
He wants to sell his boat because we only used it three times this summer. It's paid for, and I know three times isn't much, but it's better than not at all.
He also wants to sell his hunting guns because he doesn't use them.
Our neighbor just got back from a week long bow hunt, and brought home a beautiful big bull elk. (Beautiful if you like that kind of thing. Personally, I think they are more beautiful in their natural surroundings than hanging on my wall, but that's just me.) MFH commented that he realized "that will never be me."
I told him that if he needs to do that, then he should. By all means, realize your dreams if you have them.
I guess at 41 his life is not all he wants it to be. I don't think it's my fault, because I know the only happiness I can be responsible for is my own. Part of it is the cut in pay he took when we moved here, when that wasn't supposed to happen. Part of it is that parenting is hard - The Boy is closer to me than his dad, and I suppose that wasn't supposed to happen either - but only he has the power to change that. And, we are slow to make friends here. Friends have always been important to MFH. We have lots of acquaintances, but that is different than friends. I don't have an answer for that one.
Maybe we suck?
Anyway, his mother called last night VERY worried about him wanting to sell his boat. It's no secret that MFH loves to fish, probably more than anything else. We haven't spoken about their conversation, nor do I want to pry, but I suspect she blames me. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I just hope he can make it better.
posted by Well-heeled mom @ 11:34 AM
6 Comments:
At 2:54 PM,
Welshie said…
That is really hard for you. I agree though that the only happiness you are responsible for is your own.
Hope that everything is better today!
Debbie
At 5:52 PM,
Away2me (Deanna) said…
It sucks when our hubbies aren't happy. Thank goodness mine just switched jobs, because I was seriously worried about him. He's not one to get depressed - at all - but there was a bit of distance to him and a ho hum attitude that was just annoying cause I felt so helpless.
I hope your hubby gets out of his funk and feels more alive soon.
At 8:17 AM,
Cricket said…
I hope his funk isn't depression, but time will tell. I also hope he doesn't make any rash decisions. For my ex-husband, his mid-life crisis was buying a Mustang, not selling anything. It's an incredibly practical mid-life crisis yours is having, if it is one.
At 12:36 PM,
Alleen said…
It does sound like he's doing the usual "take stock of one's life" and maybe not liking all of it??? I think we all do it.... Have you really sat down and just asked him what's on his mind about all of it and make sure he knows you are behind him? I know that is probably a stupid question, but...
At 2:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
I've drafted three comments, and don't like any of them.
Mid-life crisis is traumatic for everyone in the family. May your husband overcome his crisis soon.
At 8:48 AM,
Not-So-Normal-Mom said…
My hubby sometimes laments about his life, too. I agree with you-We are each only responsible for our own happiness. He needs to find that happiness. Have you guys talked about it together? I know that when I get in a funk, I atleast want to talk it out, even if I know it's my responsibility to fix it. Good luck! ;-)
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