Stiletto

The Path of Least Resistance

2010-10-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

We had our meeting on Monday, and it went surprisingly well.

Regarding the speech help - the principal said they would never take a kid out during the extra activities to work with them. I had my permission slip with me, and showed him where it said the help would occur during "recess, music, or library". He didn't know that was there. He insured me it wouldn't happen. I said if it does, I will pull him out immediately. The kicker is the speech pathologist took him the very next day - before I had even returned the permission slip.

The standardized test scores on The Boy show he is at or above grade level in all areas except one - math. In math he is in the lower quadrant of his class.

The teacher's take on it - and we agree - is that The Boy understands the concepts of addition and subtraction. After all, he does the work and until this year, he didn't ever have math homework. The problem is that he hasn't memorized the math facts. Because of that he is slow and when the other kids finish before him, he gets frustrated so he brings the work home.

I am coming up with a way to work with him at home on the facts and letting him earn something he really wants as a reward - he chose a new motocross helmet.

To boost his self-esteem, she is going to send him to the kindergarten class to help them with math, which will reinforce the facts with him as well.

We all agree that he is intelligent and capable - but he may never work any harder than he has to in school - or, as the principal put it, "The Boy will choose the path of least resistance." (For the record, I have hopes that he will be like me and do well without a ton of extra effort!)

Fortunately the carrot that dangles in front of his nose is sports. He is athletic and this is where he excels - and you can't play if you don't make the grade.

This mom and this dad walked into a bar.....

2010-10-10T21:13:00.001-07:00

and laughed hysterically when the mom came up with this:

Every fall when they assign students to teachers, our son's teacher will not say, "Ugh I got The Boy this year."

Instead, he/she will say, "Ugh I got The Boy's parents this year."

"R"

2010-10-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

I got a note from school asking permission to work with my son on his slight speech impediment. He says the "r" sound properly if it's at the beginning of a word or in the middle of the word, but it trails off slightly at the end of a word. It's not a huge issue, obviously, or I would have had intervention a long time ago.

I asked him how he felt about having help with this, and he said it was okay with him.

When I read further, it stated that the 30 minutes twice a week would not occur during any of the important core classes, but instead he would miss music, library, or recess.

Well I'm sorry, but those things are important to my son. I'll not have him miss the classes he enjoys.

At my meeting with the principal and his teacher on Monday, I'm going to tell them that they can send the program home and I'll work with him myself - or they can choose a time to work with him where he won't miss a class that's important to him.

Meeting

2010-10-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lot of time in the past few days conversing with my son's teacher via email.

She has said things like "The Boy is unable to concentrate" and "he does what he wants when he wants" and "The Boy is very social which makes it difficult for him and those around him to learn".

I have suggested that instead of putting 8 year old children in "pods" that perhaps it would be better if they were separated. She said she just doesn't have room. I said that when one of the teachers up and quit suddenly three days before school started that they should have replaced her so the classes wouldn't be so large. She is obviously overwhelmed.

I was able to visit at length with a dear friend of mine who is also a teacher and who knows my son well. She affirmed for me that he is very intelligent. She also reiterated to me that it is the teacher's job to see to it that my son is able to learn. She suggested, and it is probably true, that there are "holes" that need to be filled when it comes to math processes for my son. Because of his social behavior in school, he has probably missed out on vital instruction and may need additional help.

I don't want him labeled. I feel that once we go back and fill the holes, he will take off and excel.

I am scheduling a meeting tomorrow with the principal, his teacher and last year's teacher. I want, as a team, for us to come up with a solution that will help my son. I also want to see his test scores so I can determine where exactly he is in Math since his teacher can't seem to tell me.

I am then prepared to enroll him at one of the learning academies in town for some additional help.

I feel that the school system is failing my child.

I hate to even open this can of worms

2010-09-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

When we decided to adopt our son I never gave much thought to the possible differences between us that are related to DNA.

When you have a bio child I suppose you say things like, "He gets his athletic ability from his dad" or "She would trip over her own feet just like her mom".

Or, yep - he is MENSA material just like his parents.

Right now we are struggling at our house. The Boy just doesn't get math. His dad is a mathematical genius and I was in advanced math all through high school. (Although I sucked at geometry and I don't care who knows it. It was a stupid class.)

I got out of him tonight that he talks and goofs off during math so he can bring it home and we'll help him with it. But he admitted, it's too hard.

We are both just sick about it. We spent 2 hours on math homework tonight and didn't even get it finished. I want to get him the help he needs and intend to start the wheels rolling in that direction tomorrow.

And I know there's no guarantee that our bio child would be a math whiz.

But I do have to wonder.

Lunch

2010-09-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

Everyday The Boy takes the same thing for lunch - two pieces of salami and two pieces of Tillamook Cheddar cheese cut exactly to fit four Big Wheat Thin crackers.

Add in a fruit snack pack or chips, plus a drink.

That is all.

I'd hate for you to think that I raised a picky eater. It's not my fault. Really. When I was growing up, we ate what was on the table. Period. Or we went without and ate that same meal for lunch the next day. And dang it, if it was good enough for me.....

So this year dad made a rule that he had to eat cafeteria lunch at least two days a week. After all, they offer three different entrees each day. Find something you can eat.

Well who knew that a chicken patty sandwich was just a BIG ROUND CHICKEN NUGGET if you throw away the bun?

The rest of the story

2010-09-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

I must have looked as if I was going to cry (and who wouldn't???) because he crawled into my lap. I was honest with him like I always am in matters such as this.

"Honey, we really have no way of knowing for sure because we didn't meet your birthmother, but your paperwork says that she just couldn't afford to take care of you. The people of Guatemala work very hard for not much money. According to the papers, she made in one whole month about what mommy makes in one hour at work. So you see, she couldn't buy diapers or formula or clothing or any of the things that a baby needs. I'm very sure she loved you and she thought she was doing the very best thing she could do for you by letting us be your parents."

There is more, but I know he couldn't process it. I don't know how we'll ever share all of it with him - but I've heard that sometimes the social workers just made up a story to appease the officials. Who knows. It's all we have.

He asked if I know her name. Then he told me he's happy he came here to be our son.

And he hasn't brought it up since.

He caught me off-guard

2010-09-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

We have always shared our son's life beginning with him on a level that we felt he could understand at the time. There hasn't been a lot of conversation about it and honestly, he's been mostly disinterested.

Last night out of the blue I got this question.

"Mom, why didn't my birthmother keep me?"

Now I'm just annoyed

2010-09-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

It's the last official weekend of summer.

The Boy's trip was canceled, and we didn't plan to go camping because of the trip. It's okay, though - we have plenty of work to do around home, and our hockey player just returned for the season.

My MIL bought supplies to finish the inside of the garage at their house since everyone was going to be here this weekend. Only now, everyone is not going to be here this weekend. So tomorrow my husband is going out there to do the job himself.

Some good friends of ours are having a pool party at their home.

The Boy and I will be attending without my fabulous husband, who will be spending this entire last weekend of summer doing not only the garage, but trying to find time to finish moving the fence to our property line before the farmer next to us sells his land along with a 14 foot wide strip of land that belongs to us but his fence is on it.

End of rant.

For now.

Miffed

2010-08-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

I realize it's been forever since I posted and I'm sure nobody even reads anymore, but since I am friends with my entire family (ARGHH) on Facebook, I need to vent here.

My SIL and her family are moving back to the lower 48 from Alaska. My in-laws have been talking about taking the two grandkids on a trip for a long time. They planned a two day trip through Yellowstone National Park. Hotel rooms are reserved for up to a year in advance inside the park, and they found a stagecoach ride for the kids. We've been talking this up for months now.

Plus, it's a very.big.damn.deal for my son to spend two nights away from home. He was apprehensive but we finally talked him into it because he gets to be with his cousin! whom he loves! whom he rarely sees! You get it.

In the meantime, Uncle dies. Distant Uncle from two states away. The funeral is planned for this weekend.

Now I'm not trying to be a hard hearted bitch, but I really feel that his entire family would understand that there was a trip planned with the grandkids and we're sorry, we loved you Uncle, but we can't attend.

The trip to Yellowstone is off. The Boy is so disappointed.

And frankly so am I.

One good thing about being 5-0

2009-10-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

My entire household has been plagued with H1N1.

Yes, it's been confirmed.

The Boy, both of the resident hockey players, and MFH.

Me? Untouched. (Knock on wood!)

Last night at hockey practice I was visiting with another mother. We were talking about H1N1 and the fact that about 2/3 of the kids were absent from practice. My resident hockey players got hit hard and both asked me the probability of getting the virus again. I mentioned that. She told me you can't get it again. True? I don't know. But she also told me that the reason they aren't vaccinating anyone 50 and older is because they probably had the swine flu virus back in the 70's.

I don't remember having it back then, but after living in this house for the past week, I'm thankful if I did!

Movin' on up

2009-09-30T11:25:00.001-07:00

We switched from our satellite television provider to one of those big dish network providers.

We went from 45 channels to hundreds of choices.

What do we watch?

V.H.1 Classics, which plays videos from the 80's and 90's. MFH is in heaven.

The three local channels, which cost an extra $5 per month.

Huh.

This makes me question my intelligence.

Sadness

2009-09-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

I posted on facebook that I am very sad over the loss of a former student.

It's so difficult. I can't believe that 21 years have gone by since this little boy was in my third grade class. He was so sweet and funny - much like my own son.

He married his childhood sweetheart, and I am not even kidding when I tell you they liked each other in first grade. I remember them in my class together, a couple. Yes, even at nine years old. I left that school when they were in the sixth grade, so imagine my surprise when, years later, I learned that they married the summer they graduated from high school. Six years later they had a baby girl, then three years later, another baby girl - now aged five and two.

Last Saturday night he was at the bar. He got into a fight with a childhood friend, took off in a fit of anger, rolled his vehicle four times, was ejected from the truck and died at the scene.

This beautiful 30 year old wife buried her husband and the father of her children today.

She is due to have her third child any day.

I hope she finds the strength to carry on.

It just keeps getting worse.....

2009-09-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

A note to my son.....

Never, under any circumstances, is it okay to have six boys in a hot tub with a naked 16 year old girl.

Rookie

2009-09-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

There is a hazing of sorts that happens when the hockey team reconvenes for the year. It's all pretty harmless - eating hot wings, shaving heads, etc.

This year, for the first time, we have a veteran player and a rookie player living in our house. I don't really like what I see. On the surface, it's all good. The two get along well in the house - as long as there are no other veteran players present. Then it's "get me this" or "I want to sit there so move".

One of the local parents cooks dinner for the team every Thursday night. Last night The Rookie didn't attend, stating that only the veterans were invited. I don't believe that. I think they were just being mean. I think if the mom knew that was the story, she'd be upset. I surely would! I expect her to ask me why Jason wasn't there, and I will tell her. (This is the same house where the party occurred two weeks ago - her 16 year old son did indeed tell her he had a party, but failed to include the part about the booze. I'd like to tell her that, too, but MFH cautioned me against it.)

I mentioned to The Boy last night that I hope things settle in soon and the players start treating each other with more respect.

He replied, "Mom, Jason needs to stand up for himself."

Wow.

I hope he remembers that when he is the rookie one day.

Idle hands.....

2009-09-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

The hockey players have begun to show up. Some of them have been here for several weeks already, as they are in high school and needed to start school here. Others showed up early just because. They aren't required to check in until Sept. 13 at 6:00 p.m.

They've been naughty boys. Last Friday they threw a party at one of the local kid's home when his parents left town for the weekend. The story unraveled when a player left a note at his host house that he was staying overnight at our house. The coach called us to check, and of course they weren't at our house.

I remember when I was smarter than adults myself, even if it does seem like it was ages ago.

The coach called an early morning meeting on Saturday, ran the kids for an hour, and set up a rigorous practice schedule for this week - skating twice a day, getting off the ice at 10:00 p.m. with a 10:30 curfew.

On Sunday, our player texted MFH at 9:30 and asked if a few guys could come over. The curfew was 11:00 for the holiday. The Boy was sleeping, and they seemed rather loud but it was oddly loud - muffled kind of. I told MFH it sounded like they were in the attached garage instead of the family room downstairs, to which he said, "I'm going to casually check on them. It sounds like they're playing drinking games."

I'll be damned if they weren't in the garage playing beer pong. 11 members of the team plus a few girls, and I'll just mention here that all of them are underaged.

It wasn't pretty. MFH lost it. He made them clean up the mess, then lined them all up and told them that each one of them needed to go to the coach and confess, and he expected the coach to call him and confirm it. Then he came upstairs and called the coach himself.

So far not one of them has come forward.

Getting off on the wrong foot

2009-09-04T04:15:00.000-07:00

There was an Open House at school last night.

I was surprised that less than half the parents were present.

Anyway, we entered the room and introduced ourselves to The Boy's teacher. She said things are going pretty well with The Boy, although she was worried when she went through his file before school started and read the "cards" which stated that The Boy can be a handful.

Did she really just say that? MFH and I looked at each other, and I'm sure I had those two little lines showing - you know the ones? At the top of your nose, those little vertical lines that make you look either like you're angry or confused most of the time? Those.

For the next 20 minutes I seethed and listened to her talk about her style of teaching and what her expectations are for this year. She is a veteran teacher and I like her style. She hasn't lost her passion in the classroom.

After she was finished and the other parents were gone, I approached her. "I used to teach, and I know how it works in schools," I said. "I realize the teachers talk to one another, and I know it's hard not to form preconceived notions about the children. Yes, my son can be exuberant and has a real zest for life which I love by the way, but he also has many other wonderful qualities. I do hope you'll take the time to find them."

I'm sorry, but I'm around other kids all the time. They ALL can be a handful.

I'm a big kid now!

2009-08-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

It's the first day of second grade.

I do not know what happened to the years between picking this child up in Guatemala at ten months old and dropping him off at school at seven years old.

Time can't go fast enough for him.....

or slow enough for me.

I'm glad he's not a shark

2009-08-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

We noticed about six weeks ago that The Boy's permanent bottom teeth were coming in behind his baby set. The baby teeth were just barely loose and we decided to let nature take it's course. They did finally start to loosen, but because those permanent teeth were behind them, it didn't bother him. He didn't work them with his tongue as he would have otherwise.

I finally told him I thought we should consult the dentist to get them out. He took matters into his own hands....and pulled the teeth out last night.

He asked me in a very small, innocent voice if I believed in the Tooth Fairy. "But of course!!! If you don't believe, she won't come." He put the teeth in a special tooth bag, hid it at the edge of his pillow, and went to sleep.

I posed the question of Face.book as to what teeth are worth. Two teeth at once. And, as the lovely DD pointed out, his FIRST lost teeth.

This morning his teeth were replaced with a five dollar bill and a note from the Tooth Fairy that read,

"Dear *****, Congratulations on losing your first teeth!! These are perfect, and just the size I needed. Here is $5 for your beautiful teeth. Also, give your parents this coupon, which is good for five songs downloaded to your IPod - courtesy of me. Thank you! Tooth Fairy"

She's a lot more generous than she was when I was a kid.

I'm gonna pump you up!

2009-08-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

I started a two week regimen of steroids for my neck injury.

The pharmacist advised me to take them with food, and early in the morning - as one possible side effect is insomnia.

I hope that's temporary. Four hours of sleep won't suffice.

When the light bulb goes on

2009-08-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

We had the opportunity to put The Boy in a high end hockey camp this week. It's run by ex-professional players from Europe and the United States. We jumped on the chance because one would usually have to travel to participate in a camp of this caliber.

Two of the coaches are staying at our house. We gave them a little heads up on The Boy - he is a talented, natural athlete - but historically he has a bit of lazy in him. He's good and because of that, he doesn't push himself. He also has a tendency to get caught up in all the grab ass games that go on around him.

For two days he has worked hard. MFH talks to the coaches and they say he is performing well. He is listening. He is working hard. These are no-nonsense kind of guys. They would tell us if it wasn't so. They aren't being paid to put up with silly crap or to blow smoke about how great our kids are.

Tonight at dinner The Boy was talking about his day. He told us two boys got in trouble and had to do push ups. One of them is his best friend.

"D was in trouble all day. He had to do push ups. I stayed away from him cause I didn't want to do push ups too!"

Okay, part of that is because he hates push ups. But honestly, I was proud of his good judgment. On the outside I was telling him what a great decision that was and how proud I am of him.

Inside my head I was screaming, "Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

His attempt at sweet talk

2009-08-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

So it's fair season up here in Montana, along with it being August and all, and that guarantees a lot of afternoon lightning storms.

My patio door was open allowing the rain to splatter into the house and onto my floor.

Because I am a female, and therefore the only one in the house that can see this happening, I close the door and get on my hands and knees to wipe up the water.

MFH is sitting in his chair playing Guitar.Hero.....facing my butt in the air.

"You have never been more attractive to me!" he says.

Beyond our control

2009-08-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

A girl I remember from high school buried her 22 year old son today.

I know what to say to her - I am a mother, after all - the words come easily even though I can't begin to imagine how she feels.

But it's not supposed to happen that way - we don't expect to outlive our children - and I don't know how you'd move on with your life.

My heart aches for her.

The Boy arrived home safe and sound tonight. It felt like he was gone for a week instead of just one day. I was so happy and relieved to see him. I hugged him extra long and took in his smell and felt overjoyed to be this child's mother.

I know I can't protect him forever.

But I'll hold on for as long as I can.

I miss him

2009-08-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

I remember when The Boy couldn't be away from me for the night.

Tonight he is with his grandparents because they are taking him to Old Faithful tomorrow. While I love that, I am sad that he is old enough to do that.

Sure we talked to him.

Sure he misses us.

Sure we got to stop at the bar tonight just like the old days.

BUT

These aren't the old days. I am a mom now and I can't change that.

I wouldn't change that.

I can't wait until tomorrow night.

Is it just me?

2009-07-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

I don't really understand putting a Pay.pal button on your blog and expecting people to just give you money.

Does that work? Cause hey - we could always use a little more over here at the Stiletto Casa.

The high cost of raising children

2009-07-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the early registration for The Boy's hockey league. You got $30 off if you paid in full. We've gotten several email notices and at least one mailer addressing this event. Also, for the first time, the league is collecting a deposit from each family - $150 per child but it is capped at $300 per family - to ensure that each family donates 15 hours of time to the rink. The notice clearly stated that AT THE END OF THE SEASON, IF YOU HAD FULFILLED THE REQUIRED 15 HOURS YOUR CHECK WILL BE RETURNED. They are not cashing the checks, but holding them in a safe.

See, our rink barely stays afloat. They count on the kindness of the families donating time to run the clock, help in the concession stand, coach, clean the stands, etc. so they don't have to hire it out and pay wages.

Oh the people had their panties all up in a bunch. "This hockey is the most expensive sport ever!" "No wonder we can't recruit new people!" and my personal favorite, "Whatever happened to good old fundraising? We could sell stuff like they do for soccer."

Look lady - I am tired of buying crap from all the neighborhood kids, and I don't want my kid selling any of the said crap.

What astounded me is that MFH spearheaded a fundraising event/opportunity to fulfill some of the donated hours this weekend. We had a national motorcycle hill climb event here, and we needed volunteers to work in four hour shifts checking coolers to make sure nobody tried to take alcohol on the premises. The hockey kids also sold programs for $1.00, 50 cents of which went to the league. We figured that we have somewhere around 300 families involved in hockey, and only 10 of those families stepped up.

It's the old adage where 20% of the people do 80% of the work. Nobody wants to give the cheapest thing to give - time.

5-0

2009-07-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

1825 days.

26,280 minutes.

157,680 seconds.

HALF A CENTURY.

I really can't believe it. But I also find it hard to believe that I've been with MFH for 20 years or that my son is already seven years old.

My how time flies.

All of my days have been good. Even the bad ones.

Cesspool

2009-07-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know if it's possible that pool water could give someone the crud?

The Boy is down for the count again. His ear is draining, he is feverish, and his stomach is flu-like. This is the third time this summer, and the common denominator is swimming lessons.

Any thoughts?

Pregnant tattoos

2009-07-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

One of my co-workers has a son about The Boy's age. They have become friends. She has taken The Boy on a few occasions, so last Saturday when we ran into them and she was busy and he was bored stiff, I offered to bring her son home with us for the afternoon.

I have tattoos. More than several but less than a dozen. Only a few of them are visible in public. I was wearing a summer shirt, so the one on my right shoulder and the one on my left bicep were uncovered that day.

The boys were riding in the back seat. This was the conversation I heard.

AJ - What's your mom's name?

TB - Karen

AJ - Karen has tattoos. Did you know that tattoos can give you poison? They get it in your body and you can't get rid of it. Sometimes it can kill you.

TB - Maybe my mom should get the tattoos erased!

AJ - No! She can't! They're pregnant. Just like some of those markers that are pregnant. You can't get it off!

Who knew?

Done

2009-07-15T21:11:00.001-07:00

We withdrew The Boy from his summer camp program today.

We treated his hair on Thursday and picked him clean like a couple of mama monkeys, kept him out on Friday for good measure, and he returned to camp on Monday. Miss.Michelle looked him over (this chick could find a needle in a haystack, I'm telling you), and he was able to stay for the day. When MFH took him back on Tuesday, with hair freshly washed again just in case with the treatment shampoo, the head picker found ONE EGG. He was sent home with The Boy in tow.

I envisioned the entire rest of the summer going by in much the same way as the past two days. I would have gone mad. Not only that, but we both would have used up our entire bank of paid time off.

So, it's back to Grandma's care for the remainder of the summer.

She doesn't have head lice.

Yet.

Results

2009-07-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

The MRI shows a disc protrusion in my neck.

I am waiting on an appointment with a neurologist.

They are booked into September.

M.R.I.

2009-07-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have one scheduled at 6:45 Monday morning.

I am still having issues with my neck and upper left shoulder following my motor vehicle accident on July 11, 2008.

My last PT treatment was October 23, 2008. Yes, PT made it feel better - much like massage therapy would have. But my range of motion in my neck has never improved, I sleep most nights on a heating pad, I take A.leve daily, and my left arm has pain down to my elbow. If I bend my head just so far forward, with my chin toward my chest, I get shooting pains down my left arm. It's getting progressively worse, and I refuse to live the rest of my life this way.

I mean really. I may be turning the big 5-0 this month - but the females in my family are graced with longevity. I am not living 40 or 50 more years in this condition.

I called the insurance adjuster to ask permission to seek further treatment. He basically scolded me for waiting so long after my final PT treatment, and added that any further treatment I seek will go under review.

Review all you want, MoFo. I have sought legal counsel thanks to the loving tone you used with me on the phone.

In case you are wondering....no, I have never signed off on any paperwork. And, no, in all these months since Oct. 23, Mr. Personality has never contacted me asking how if I am satisfied with treatment. It's almost as if he was waiting for the clock to tick tick tick my time away.

Because I had a sinus infection, I doubled that appointment with my MD to seek a consultation about my neck issues - on two separate bills, of course. She ordered the MRI, saying that she needed it in order to give me a referral for a specialist. Yes, my body should have healed itself by now. And because it didn't, let's find out why. Thank you very much.

I hope he just pays the friggin bills. I only want to feel better without a fight.

Now I've pissed somebody off.......

2009-07-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have a sinus infection.

And pink eye.

Summer is my favorite season up here in Montana, and with all the rain this year, and all of our personal trauma, it's been a real picnic so far.

We are finding a few more "nits" here and there in The Boy's hair, but his hair is very long and thick so I'm not surprised. So far no live bugs. I don't want to sound like a snob, but I just don't understand that he was introduced to lice. This is an upscale daycare - brand new and expensive.

I'm off to medicate and rest.

Bring it on!

2009-07-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

Because we haven't had enough crap for one summer......

Got a call just before 4 today to come and get The Boy from camp. He has head lice. Not full blown, just a few eggs.

I asked who he got it from. "He's the only one so far," she replied. I said, "Well, keep looking - he hasn't been around anyone but us and the kids at camp so that pretty much narrows it down."

Sure enough when I got there, he was sitting next to a girl with very dirty looking hair. I treated him immediately, and we went through his beautiful long hair with a fine toothed comb - literally. I think we got it all, but we'll keep checking and treat again in a week just in case. He's been in daycare situations all his life, and we've never had to deal with this.

Now I am itching all over!

Loss

2009-07-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

While I wasn't a member of the M.Jackson fan club, I do remember him performing as a child - seeing how we are ALMOST the same age. It's been interesting following his life on music television over the past week. He was a performer unlike any other.

I listened to his memorial via the internet today - well, watched probably more than I listened...and I cried at the end when his daughter spoke.

Kids are resilient. Time heals. But today her heart is broken at the loss of her father. She is much too young to know how that feels.

Let's pass it around.....

2009-07-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

I don't feel well. Ugh. I don't know if it's what The Boy had, or if it's a cold/allergies/stress...or a combination of all the above.

Today is our 18th anniversary.

Honey, I love you.

My life would suck without you.

BBQ?

2009-07-05T09:49:00.001-07:00

Since we moved to Billings two years ago, we have hosted every holiday event at our house.

Don't get me wrong. We love to entertain. But it would be nice for someone else to offer to host once in a while.

So, for the Fourth, we put off planning anything with the hope that someone else would. MFH's cousin and his wife texted me on Thursday asking us to come for BBQ. Would we mind bringing chips and salsa and a dessert? Of course not! We didn't have to spring for the whole meal. I picked up seven layer dip, salsa, several kinds of chips, and we made a dessert.

We snacked. And we snacked. And they never did BBQ.

WTF?

Can I have a break? Please?

2009-07-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Now The Boy has the flu. Sheesh.

This week's theme at camp is "Community". They have taken field trips all week to learn about the post office, bus service, police station, etc. Today's field trip is to the airport, where Grandpa works!, and he had some great activities planned for the kids. The Boy is home sick. For the third day.

Darn it anyway.

Creepy

2009-07-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

I have a stalker. I think.

There is this young man that passes me every day when I am walking from the parking lot into work. It started out innocently enough, with him just smiling at me. Then he started to say hi. I am generally a kind, polite person so I responded appropriately.

One day I was running a bit late and when I rounded the corner to go to the parking lot, I noticed that he was loitering on the sidewalk. And just recently he was actually hiding in a store front until he saw my car. So now he knows what I drive.

We crossed paths at C.ostco. I almost hit him crossing the street when I left The Boy's summer daycare. These incidents are most probably coincidence, but still.

MFH thinks it's "cute". Me not so much. I have started changing up my arrival at work, varying from earlier to later depending on the day. I am sure he's harmless, but it's just weird.

I may have to let The Boy go postal on him.

At least we've met our deductible

2009-06-24T21:23:00.000-07:00

I got a call from camp today at 10:00. It's Construction Week, The Boy was sanding a bench he built, and got a sliver under his thumbnail. He was inconsolable. I spoke with him, asked them to put a bandaid on it and send him back to camp, and dad would be there at lunch to remove the sliver. They called back not two minutes later. The director said the sliver was shoved in from the tip to the cuticle, and they wanted me to take him to a doctor.

Even without my reading glasses I could see it in there - right at the very edge of the nail. The PA was surprised I brought him in. "The sliver is just sitting at the very tip of his thumb," she said. "It'll work out on it's own."

"Really?" I asked. "This whole thing right here isn't a sliver under his nail?" Upon further inspection, she concurred.

We went to the procedure room. Four of us restrained him, and there was no way she was getting that sliver out. She gave him a topical. Still nothing. She gave him valium. He grinned at me and said, "I will not let this medicine calm me down." SERIOUSLY??? Is that possible? After 15 minutes or so, we restrained him again while she deadened the thumb with a shot, and then again about 15 minutes later when she pulled it out. It was no less than 1/2 inch long.

He kicked, flailed, and swung his fists. He yelled, cried, and screamed "STOP IT! I MEAN IT! I HATE YOU! YOU STUPID DOCTORS! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

It scared the shit out of me. If I ever piss him off that badly, I'll be sleeping behind locked doors.

Celebrating Fathers

2009-06-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

Mine: Thank you for always watching over me - then and now.

MFH: Thank you for doing your darndest to see that The Boy grows up to be a good citizen.

My FIL: Thank you for doing such a fine job with My Fabulous Husband. The two of you are, hands down, the kindest men I have ever known.

Imagine that!

2009-06-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

My supervisor, the Corp Controller, had her baby last week and is on maternity leave until August 3.

The president of the company asked her far in advance of her due date to present a plan to show how she planned on getting her job done while she is out. The company bought her a laptop and had it set up so she could work from home.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the "plan" was to have me do her job.

Don't get any grandiose ideas - I'm still doing my own job as well.

Imagine my disappointment when I got my paycheck and there was no extra money in there for the extra duties.

Go figure.

All's clear

2009-06-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

The infection is gone. The doctor didn't have to suction the ear again. For that, and expensive but effective meds, we are thankful.

While I was getting ready for work, I heard MFH ask The Boy who should accompany him to the doctor - mom or dad.

"I think you should take me, Dad. I don't think mom could handle it if he has to dig in my ear again."

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk

2009-06-15T11:34:00.000-07:00

The garage sale was a smashing success. I learned a long time ago not to price items according to what I paid for them or using sentimental value. People want a bargain, I don't want to haggle over price, and I certainly don't want to bring anything back into the house....so I price things to make sure they sell.

Sure it bugs me to put $2.00 on a N.ike outfit in perfect condition that I paid $40 for, and that The Boy wore for one summer (sparingly at that). But that's really my problem, not the shopper that's looking for a deal. Let me tell you, these shoppers scored big.

So did The Boy.

I knew he would not part with any of the crap in his room, so I snuck in there last week when he was in a pain/drug induced coma and helped myself to the toys he's outgrown. We priced them and boxed them up before he could see any of it. There were also boxes of his stuff in the garage that haven't been opened since the move, and we priced a lot of that as well. Fortunately, most of what he would recognize was sold before we got to the sale to help on Saturday.

I tried to keep him busy and away from his things, to no avail. He recognized a few games and puzzles that he confiscated and put back into the car. Then, I went into the house for a brief respite and when I came back out, a friend of ours had bought him a stuffed fish that had been his to begin with. He walked down the street with said friend to a Church sale and came back with this huge stuffed warthog that some random man bought for him.

We almost came back home with more things to put into his room than I took out of there which pretty much defeats the purpose of having a garage sale in the first place.

One man's junk is another man's treasure

2009-06-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

We've been going through boxes all week, preparing for a garage sale.

Boxes, many of which haven't been opened since we packed them up and moved 2 years ago.

That's a clear sign that we accumulate a lot of crap that we don't really need - whether we buy it or it's gifted to us.

One such gift I received is a large and probably expensive Y.ankee candle. A purple one, scented with sage and lavender. While I like both of those smells independently, together not so much.

The Boy loves anything scented - air fresheners, candles, cologne, you name it.

He saw that sitting on the counter with a price dot on it. "You're selling that?" he asked, while taking the lid off and smelling it.

He ran into his room, counted out the appropriate change, plopped it on the counter and took the candle. "I'm buying it!" he exclaimed.

Then he took it into his room and promptly hid it.

I'll probably find it under his bed when I'm dragging him out to go to that doctor appointment next week.

Remember the irritated ear?

2009-06-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

It's now a full blown infection - inner and outer.

MFH coached The Boy's baseball team again this year. One of the fathers is an ENT. We called him on Sunday regarding the bleeding ear (which by that time was just draining, but no longer bleeding) and he said to schedule an appointment on Monday. He, like my cousin, felt it was related to the tube, said it was most likely not an emergency, but please bring him in within the next week or so.

We made an appointment for Wednesday. That day was also a field trip to an Alpaca Ranch at camp, and we didn't want The Boy to miss that so we canceled and said we'd reschedule.

Tuesday night The Boy woke up screaming and crying. MFH sat upright with him all night in the recliner to relieve the pressure and allow him to sleep. (I know - isn't he fabulous?) Needless to say, we kept the appointment. His poor ear was red and sore to the touch. MFH took him to the doctor, who had to suction the ear out - which meant he had to touch it. It took MFH and the nurses to restrain The Boy, and MFH told me he has never heard screaming like he did in that room.

My poor baby.

MFH said, "I am so glad you weren't there. It broke my heart, but you wouldn't have been able to handle it."

He has three prescriptions, totalling $256.00. Ouch! I have great benefits, and for that I really have to thank whatever higher power you believe in.

Last night, The Boy was starting to feel better. He knows he is to return to the doctor next Tuesday for a follow up - and more suction. I told him that by then his ear probably won't be sore anymore and it won't hurt as badly.

He told me he's going to hide. Under his bed. Don't tell Dad.

Exceeding expectations

2009-06-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

When The Boy finished kindergarten last spring, he had fulfilled all the requirements to be promoted to first grade - one of which was to know ten sight words.

During our first conference in the first grade, back in early November, we learned that he did not even register at a first grade level in reading. Two months into the school year, he was not at a level that should have allowed him to pass kindergarten.

So we got to work at home. Each night The Boy brought home a book and read it to us. We got him extra help at school. By the end of the school year, he was bringing home two fairly difficult books each night, and would read one to me and one to his dad.

During this past nine week period, the light bulb switched on. Not only in reading, but in his writing abilities, math, and behavior, too. Of all the growing I've seen him do in the past seven years, this was the most phenomenal progression to witness.

I cried when I read his report card. He scored excellent on all of his essential skills tests. But in reading? He is now at the second grade level.

His reward was this motorcycle that he has wanted since last summer.

Excessive?

Maybe.

But we didn't just give it to him.

He earned it.

He's priceless

2009-06-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

I picked The Boy up from school yesterday and we went to the zoo for the afternoon to celebrate his last day of First Grade. On the way home from the zoo, about four hours later, he said his ear was bleeding. It's coming from the canal. He told me he heard a "pop" in the morning and that his ear hurt a bit.

My cousin is an MD at a major NYC hospital. He happens to be visiting and we went to a BBQ last night to see him before they head back home. I asked him to look in the ear.

He said it looks a little irritated, and it could be related to the tube falling out. Naturally we are to keep an eye on it and call his ENT if it continues.

After he finished his impromptu exam, The Boy looked him straight in the eye and said, "Okay how much are you going to charge for that?"

I finally learned to say no

2009-06-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

My old boss called me. The conversation began with "Are you still working for that square burger company?"

The gist of it is that he wants me to take a two week vacation and come to resort town to a) finish the year 2008 (I KNOW! THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!) and b) train current head bitch.

We conversed for the better part of my commute to an appointment and I got the finer points of what is going on. I gave him my take on what I feel is top priority and the direction in which I would move, and told him to have New Head Bitch email me with questions.

She did. I gave her my suggestions. Start here, look here, compare this, etc.

"I went to 'some stupid university' where I got 'some degree' and I know how to do this!" was basically the reply.

I replied and cc'd the boss - 'Clearly you have a better handle on the situation than I do. I don't see how I can help you."

She emailed me a few days later with an apology, explaining that Boss made her cry and was pissed that she made it sound like I didn't know what I was doing for the past 18 years, etc.

I don't know if she expected me to make her feel better or what.

I didn't even respond.

Because he needs another hole in his head

2009-05-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

"Mom, one of the boys at school has his ear pierced."

"Really? And what do you think of that?"

"I think it's cool. I was thinking I could get my ear pierced, too."

"Well, that is totally up to you. It's your ear."

"Does it hurt much?" he asked.

"No, only for a minute. They use this little gun and shoot the earring right into your ear. Hey, I know. We have to pay for two holes anyway, so I could get my ear done with you at the same time! How's that?"

"Okay!"

I figured I'd just wait for him to bring it up again and he did - sooner than I expected. And now he wants to wait until he's in sixth grade.

We need to get away more.

2009-05-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we traveled 1200 miles for a graduation party. Really, it was more than that. It was just a chance to get the hell out of town and see family that we love dearly - and don't see nearly enough.

Although we had offers to stay with people in their homes, we insisted on getting a hotel. I wanted The Boy to have a pool, and we wanted to be able to avoid becoming like smelly fish.

Apparently we don't get away from home often enough, though.

Upon getting to the hotel room, The Boy called his grandma to tell her we made it safely. His end of the conversation involved exclaiming what our room was like and ended with "and we even have our own garbage can!"

Did you ever have that feeling you forgot your underwear?

2009-05-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

I am not big on accessorizing.

Except for my shoes, naturally.

I admire women that are always put together with matching jewelry, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I don't know if I'm too scatter brained in the morning, or too much in a rush.

I do usually wear earrings.

Today I forgot them.

I feel naked.

Summer daycare

2009-05-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much to say in the past 3.5 months, and now my cup runneth over with posts that need to be written. This old can of worms happens to be foremost on my mind today.

When we moved here almost two years ago, I thought we were finished with daycare. I wasn't supposed to have to work anymore (BWAH HA HA HA). We all know how that panned out. That first summer I was able to work from home, and The Boy stayed home with me.

Last summer I had all kinds of offers from people that were going to take The Boy for a day here and there and keep him busy. Plus, I had him enrolled in swimming lessons for most of the summer, as well as a few week long camps. Well, my mother had him for 99.9% of the time. My almost 80 year old mother. She did very well with him, shuffling him around to his swimming lessons, picking him up from day camp, and then even playing with him so he wasn't sitting in front of the television for eight hours a day. But, let's face it - 80 is getting up there, and while I hope to have her energy and even a grandkid to share it with at that age, it isn't really fair to either of them. My MIL took him all of two or three days, because she had that old dog that couldn't be left alone. He's still alive.

With all this in mind, we decided to enroll The Boy in summer daycare. Fortunately I found one that had space for him. They are structuring their care around weekly theme camps. He will be there for nine weeks to the tune of $155 a week. My mother offered to pay for half, which I won't accept. The square burger corporation where I work does offer subsidized daycare, and I will be reimbursed at 50% in October. Yes, I realize how fortunate I am to have that.

Yesterday My Fabulous Husband informed me that my MIL offered to take The Boy to his swimming lessons a few times in June.

Seriously?

His lessons are at 5:45 in the evening. After daycare and after I am off work.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Somebody slap me

2009-02-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have worked only 3.5 hours in the last two weeks, outside of my regular full-time job.

I am bored.

Guess what I did today?

2009-02-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

Besides blog for the first time in FOREVER?

I mailed the last of the shit - I mean work - that I had here for my old job in my old town that I've been trying to quit for over a year.

I know they will call back and want more.

But for now? I am reveling in the glory of it all!

She's alive!

2008-12-11T17:15:00.000-08:00

Not much has changed, though.

I am still trying to get the old business caught up. I am doing this so I can have the same New Year's Resolution as last year, cause I sure don't have time to come up with a new one - which was to have only one job.

HA!

I am doing it at my own pace, though. I work when I want to, and am enjoying my family and the holidays as much as I can the rest of the time.

The Boy is doing well in school, although he still gets plenty of warnings and still spends time in The Thinking Chair - but not on a daily basis. His teacher says he has a lot of "good qualities" but I'm not sure if she's trying to convince me or her. Hey! I think he's awesome, and if you have to search that hard for something good to say? Maybe it's time you retire. She is not old, just geriatric and that's worse. He needs a young teacher with as much spirit as he has.

He has taken off in hockey. He scored two goals in last week's game - I couldn't be more proud of this kid.

The other night I found him in the laundry room/cat room, sitting on the washing machine. I asked what he was doing. He sprayed air freshener in the room, which was obvious from the fog. I asked why.

"Cause I can smell that cat shit clear in my room!" he exclaimed.

Yeah, I couldn't be more proud of my kid!

Hiatus

2008-10-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened.

I still don't know about the new job opportunity. That is on hold. They don't want to pay two people to do the same job, and they can't get rid of their head bitch. I can't complain since I seem to be in the same boat myself at my old job.

I got thrown back into my old job (on a full-time status -ugh) that I swore I would quit for my New Year's Resolution in 2008.

Almost a year ago.

And, of course, I still work for the burger corp.

I will be back when I have something new to say.

Round two

2008-10-07T16:57:00.000-07:00

Second interview was last night.

The GM didn't even bother to read my resume.

Bitch.

Big stuff

2008-10-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

going on at the Stiletto Casa regarding a new employment prospect for me.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Toes, too.

The Old Days

2008-09-29T11:23:00.001-07:00

The other night The Boy asked his dad, "Dad, did you ride a horse to school when you were a little boy?"

We started laughing hysterically.

MFH looked at me and I said, "Don't look at me! I'm the one that had to walk to school in deep snow for three miles uphill both ways!"

Oxymoron

2008-09-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

I work in the beautiful downtown district in the city.

Unfortunately, the bus depot is also downtown. Not in my direct vicinity, but I suppose the vagrants just wander around having a look about town.

They have no qualms about walking up to people and asking for money.

Am I going to open my purse and take out my wallet? That makes me just a wee bit uncomfortable.

Back to the title, and the phrase "spare change".

There is no such thing.

All of my money is spoken for.

Just look at the gas gauge on my car.

The House of Pain

2008-09-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

J.immy went home with a knee injury. Rumor has it that he wants to come back already, and rehabilitate the knee here. He's out until the end of October. Maybe he shouldn't have been in such a hurry to leave just last week? We'll see what happens with that one.

N.ick came here with a shoulder injury that he has been rehabilitating. It is now damaged to such a degree that it warrants surgery. His mom wants him to go home for that, and he'll possibly return in January after he is healed.

T.revor went to the ER last night after getting hit in the cheek with an errant puck. He has a two inch crack on his lower jaw. He's out until the end of October.

We feel jinxed.

Invincible

2008-09-24T08:27:00.001-07:00

The hockey team went on a camping trip last weekend.

The coach, for some reason (probably because they are all boys between the ages of 15 and 20), went through their backpacks.

Four of the boys tried to smuggle in beer.

They will not be suiting up for the season opening games next weekend.

How did they think they'd get away with that?

Let me 'splain

2008-09-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

I still have my old job, but on a different level.

I no longer do their accounting, but I am monitoring the books and consulting as needed.

And I am finding errors. Lots of them, that I then have to track down and fix.

The lady they hired does not have an accounting degree, but neither do I. I have lots of classes, and 31 years of experience in the field. She is one year older than me, and has been doing accounting for the last 16 years - spending about three years at each place, but that has nothing to do with her ability to do the job.

She is making elementary errors. For instance, a client comes in and pays for a large product in advance of the delivery. The payment is documented on their account. When the product is delivered and the purchase agreement is entered for the sale, she is entering the payment again instead of offsetting the purchase to the payment that is sitting on account. When it comes time to do the bank reconciliation, her cash is way off and she doesn't know why. That's where I enter in - to find why, and fix it. Each and every customer. But, she is inconsistent even in this. Sometimes, not often, she enters the transaction correctly.

Could I just tell her where it is, and have her fix it? Yes. But then she fixes it incorrectly, making twice as much work for me.

Should my boss let her go?

I don't know. I don't know if her errors are lack of training on our system, or lack of knowledge.

I should add that I have spent hours and hours writing up processes for her, and she has spent hours and hours with the company that sells the software, and trained me how to use it years ago. I email, talk, and spend Saturdays with her as need be. I am accessible all of my waking hours.

I am still full time at the burger corp, where we have people quitting and/or looking for new jobs left and right.

And, I have been referred for a position just a few miles from my house, in the same capacity that I left behind at my old job that is still my old job.

Where I could possibly do some of the work from my home.

We have two extra mouths to feed, and two teenage boys that have a lot of laundry. Yes, I do the laundry because we are on a cistern and I conserve water as much as possible. I could tell them to wash a full load rather than one pair of their favorite jeans, but there is no guarantee they would do it. I am finding that the listening problem we experience with The Boy carries on well into young adulthood.

I have very little free time - to keep up with you people, to relax, to spend quality time with MFH and The Boy. Hockey starts October 1 - Tues., Thurs., and Sat. - about two hours each day if you count travel.

I am simply spread too thin.

Imagine that

2008-09-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

It's not the holidays.

It's not that The Boy is so excited about Halloween, when he plans to be a "Ninja".

It's not even the commercialization by the W.almarts of the world.

It's me.

I'm completely and totally burned out. I have not the time or the energy to do it.

I gotta fix that.

Holidazed

2008-09-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have always loved holidays.

All of them.

I have boxes of decorations under the stairs, many of them thanks to my MIL, who is very crafty and loves holidays as much as I do.

I am the person who squeals with delight when I hear the first Christmas carol, and tunes into the station on S.irius that plays only holiday music beginning the day after Thanksgiving.

I couldn't wait to become a mother and instill that love into my child.

Now?

I groaned two weeks ago when, while doing our Wal.mart shop, The Boy discovered the Halloween section.

Baby teeth

2008-09-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

I HATED the dentist when I was a child.

As a result, I began taking The Boy with me to my cleanings when he was very young so that he could see what it was all about, and not be afraid. We started having his teeth looked at and cleaned when he was three years old.

The Boy had a child's cleaning yesterday. At 6 1/2 years old, he still hasn't lost any baby teeth. I thought that was odd, but the dentist didn't think anything of it. Not that I mind - the gaping holes I don't mind so much, but the big teeth that come into those tiny mouths? There is no homelier time in a child's life. It seems to take forever for their faces to grow into those permanent teeth.

The Boy has perfect teeth. He has never had a cavity, and they are perfectly straight. I asked the dentist, with crossed fingers and toes, "Do you think his permanent teeth will be as beautiful as his baby teeth?"

"There are no guarantees," he replied.

Of course not.

And then there were two

2008-09-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

One of our players went home today.

When his parents brought him here, they told me he has a girlfriend at home who "is no good". They've been dating on and off again for two years. They're on when she wants to be and off when she wants to be with other guys or doing other things. His parents were hoping his coming here to play hockey would be the deal breaker.

His parents are well-to-do, so he is privileged, and he is an only child.

He is 18, and it's his first time away from home - the same as if he had gone away to college.

The other two players who live here are good friends of his, one from home, and the other from a previous time in his life.

Last week he came home limping and said he suffered a knee injury. He had doctor appointments with x-rays and was talking about surgery. As the weekend came and went, his limping disappeared but he kept insisting he was in pain. He said he was too sick to go to practice this morning.

When I came home tonight there was no sign of him anywhere in the house. He left a voicemail thanking us, but more importantly, saying goodbye to The Boy.

The other boys came home and said that his girlfriend wanted him to come home. They tried to talk him into staying.

I have a feeling he'll experience some real pain somewhere down that road.

PT

2008-09-12T11:01:00.000-07:00

I am currently having physical therapy on my neck as a result of my car accident.

It's been two months, and I still have this annoying pain in my neck, literally, ALL.THE.TIME.

The doctor determined I have lost range of motion.

I'm so glad he's trying to get it back for me, but why does he have to make it hurt so bad in order to make it better??????

It's a wonderful life

2008-09-10T11:34:00.001-07:00

I am worried about MFH.

It could be nothing more than a mid life crisis of sorts.

He wants to sell his boat because we only used it three times this summer. It's paid for, and I know three times isn't much, but it's better than not at all.

He also wants to sell his hunting guns because he doesn't use them.

Our neighbor just got back from a week long bow hunt, and brought home a beautiful big bull elk. (Beautiful if you like that kind of thing. Personally, I think they are more beautiful in their natural surroundings than hanging on my wall, but that's just me.) MFH commented that he realized "that will never be me."

I told him that if he needs to do that, then he should. By all means, realize your dreams if you have them.

I guess at 41 his life is not all he wants it to be. I don't think it's my fault, because I know the only happiness I can be responsible for is my own. Part of it is the cut in pay he took when we moved here, when that wasn't supposed to happen. Part of it is that parenting is hard - The Boy is closer to me than his dad, and I suppose that wasn't supposed to happen either - but only he has the power to change that. And, we are slow to make friends here. Friends have always been important to MFH. We have lots of acquaintances, but that is different than friends. I don't have an answer for that one.

Maybe we suck?

Anyway, his mother called last night VERY worried about him wanting to sell his boat. It's no secret that MFH loves to fish, probably more than anything else. We haven't spoken about their conversation, nor do I want to pry, but I suspect she blames me. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I just hope he can make it better.

The Thinking Chair

2008-09-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

The Boy's teacher sent home a list of classroom rules for the parents to go over with their children. The child and parent both had to sign and date the contract.

The rules are pretty basic: don't speak with your voice above a whisper, keep your hands and feet to yourself, no running in class or the hallway.

The first infraction in a day is a warning. A second problem warrants a trip to The Thinking Chair. If there is a third occurrence, she will call the parents.

First grade has been going very well for The Boy. He likes school, even though he was separated this year from his best friend and partner in crime from Kindergarten, and his work is neat and accurate.

When I picked him up at my mom's on Wednesday, he told me he got sent to The Thinking Chair and that I would have a call from the teacher. "I used my voice above a whisper twice after I was warned," he explained.

Indeed, there was a voice mail when I got home. I returned her call on my way to work Thursday morning. She was very apologetic, using the Teacher 101 introduction of "I like to call when things are positive, but......." and proceeded to tell me that she is just following up on her rules of two infractions, call the parents. I asked what he did and she told me he spoke with his voice above a whisper.

She seemed surprised when I told her that The Boy told me what happened and that I could expect a call from her. I told her "One thing he does not do is lie to us", that we talked about tomorrow being a new day and a chance to do better. I thanked her for keeping in touch with us.

The Boy is probably rarely going to have a day without a warning. That's just the way he rolls. He has such an exuberance about him, and it's one of his characteristics that I love the most.

At least he wasn't the boy that got in trouble for shaking his naked booty around the bathroom earlier that same day!

More than I want to know

2008-09-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

My supervisor is in a bad relationship.

They have been together three years. She desperately wants to be married and have children. He says things have to be "perfect" before that will happen.

She confides in me alot. It makes me uncomfortable, but I realize she probably doesn't have anyone else to talk to. She has a lot of friends, but they know her outside of work and I'm guessing she doesn't want them to know, even though they probably do know.

So, I listen to her.

He is needy. He is verbally and mentally abusive. He isn't physical that I can see.

When she came in today I could tell that she had been crying.

She recently asked me, "How do you know when enough is enough?"

I said, "I can't answer that question for you."

But just the fact that she asked it gives me hope that she is close to realizing it for herself.

Are you my mother?

2008-09-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

I love my kittens.

I was hoping they would bond with me like Boots did. Itty was very elusive and didn't seek much human contact. In fact, he was just ornery (interpret: mean). He came around only if he was hungry or needed an arm to use as a chew toy.

Miss Kitty (GiGi) and Stinky are very personable. I have never had a female animal before, and I must say that GiGi is about as sweet as sweet can be. She is my lap cat.

When Boots disappeared, I feared I would never again have a bed buddy. Boots slept on my pillow with me. Itty was nowhere near the bed, preferring to sleep on the dog's bed.

I hit the jackpot with these two. GiGi sleeps curled up near or across my neck and Stinky sleeps wrapped around the top of my head. Throughout the night he will wake me by sucking on my hair in just this one spot. Every night.

He was three months old when we adopted him, so I'm not sure what that's all about, except they never did separate the babies from their mother. Perhaps she was still nursing?

Imagine how frustrated he must be!

Going well

2008-09-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

The boys have settled in. They are very nice and well mannered young men.

Meals are going well. They each gave me one idea for a meal for this week.

This year is already a million times better than last year.

I got a call yesterday from one boy's mom. He got hit hard in the jaw at an exhibition game Saturday night and she wanted to see if I thought it was broken. He felt it was out of alignment and he was in pain, but he did eat breakfast.

She then mentioned that T.revor has a rash. He has very sensitive skin, and needs to have his things laundered with detergent that is dye and fragrance free.

He's been living here a week.

Don't you think that's something I should have known right away?

First Grader

2008-08-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

It was the first day of First Grade.

There was no "come see your classroom and meet the teacher" like in kindergarten (although I found out afterward that we could have dropped in yesterday). As a result, The Boy did not want to ride the bus today like the first day of kindergarten, but instead wanted me to drive him. He was worried about where to line up when the bell rang, and even though he was at the same school last year, he didn't know where his new teacher's room was. He had too many supplies to carry anyway.

So I drove him. We found the line for his class and went inside when the bell rang. He found his desk, I dropped his things off, and I left.

And I cried.

Time is going by too quickly.

Triple threat

2008-08-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

We will have three 18 year old hockey players arriving on Sunday to live with us.

Two are permanent as long as they make the team.

One is temporary, unless they can't find other housing for him.

I don't have any idea how to cook for six people.

Yes, I have lost my mind.

Loyalty

2008-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

The Boy is attending his final camp of the summer.

Hockey camp.

From 8:30 to 4:30 every day this week.

His best friend is in camp with him.

Today he came home and told me that somebody ran Duke into the boards. The Boy made sure Duke was okay, and then he took after the kid that hit him.

He said, "I had to make sure I knew who he was so I could give him paybacks. He made Duke cry."

The Boy is probably the smallest kid in hockey camp.

The smallest kid with the biggest heart.

I hate working this summer

2008-08-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

I am missing out on so much.

Yesterday was The Boy's last swimming lesson for the summer. They have an evaluation on the last day of each session, so I go and see his progress and evaluate the teachers.

He can swim!

Really swim!

The "put your face in the water, use rhythmic breathing, and front arm crawl all the way across the pool" swim.

I was so proud.

And I missed watching it happen.

Miscommunication

2008-08-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

In deep water

2008-08-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

The Boy has been in swimming lessons this summer. The sessions consist of Monday through Thursday for two weeks, one half hour per day. He is midway through his third and last session this season.

He needs to be able to swim the front crawl and back crawl unassisted for the width of the pool before he can pass on to the next level.

The Boy is a little vertically challenged. I think he is average, but the majority of his friends are definitely taller than him. I look at this as an advantage in swimming, because he can't stand on the bottom of the pool and be above the water, forcing him to try harder to swim.

Case in point -

He called me after his lesson today, to tell me he made it across the pool. "I had to put my tippy toes on the bottom once, mom, so I could push up to take a breath and continue on. But I made it!"

"I tried not to put my feet down cause it's hard to breathe under water!"

Name Game

2008-08-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Here are my new babies.

I take naming pets very seriously. I try to get to know them first and take their personality or physical attributes into account.

After naming four pets in the past 12 months, apparently the well has run dry because I had a really hard time with these two.

The black and white is Stinky Boy - partly because they called him Skunky and partly because he has stinky gas and poops. I'm hoping that is due at least in part to the stress of a new family, and a new type of kitten food.

The gray is GiGi or GG for Gray Girl. Pretty imaginative, huh? I have to credit MFH with that one. I don't particularly love it - I don't hate it either - but since we've been together, I have come up with names for all of our pets. I was coming up empty on her, and had taken to calling her Gray Girl.

The two cats are getting along famously. GiGi is tolerating the dogs better, as well. She is not only brave enough to walk among them on the floor, but she also drinks out of their water dish. While they are in the room, hovering over her.

The girl rules the roosters.

One big happy family

2008-08-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

She hisses and claws at the dogs.

She growls at the boy cat.

MFH thinks she is a bitch.

However, she purrs whenever any one of us makes eye contact with her.

The boy cat acclimated within 24 hours and now has the run of the house and the dogs.

By this morning she was warming up to him. I an sure she will come to accept the dogs within a few days.

Last night I walked in with her in my arms and MFH let the dogs in from their kennel. He then carefully unhooked each one of her claws out of my scalp.

Yeah, that hurt.

A belated birthday

2008-07-30T08:09:00.000-07:00

I finally told MFH why I was so upset that he didn't take The Boy to pick out kittens for me.

A few days prior to my birthday, The Boy came to me and said, "I know what I'm getting for your birthday, but I can't tell you. I just don't know when me and dad will have time to go pick out a little thing that crawls on the ground and has triangle ears."

It took all I had to keep a straight face.

The Boy takes great care to choose gifts from the heart, and this was so very important to him. He was upset that my birthday came and went without a kitten.

So, on Saturday, he and I went to the local animal shelter and picked out not one, but two kittens! He chose for me - a black and white boy, and a gray tabby girl. The boy was fixed already, so we were able to bring him home. The little girl is being fixed today and we can pick her up tomorrow.

They will not be allowed outside, and I am hoping that with two they can keep each other company and be content inside the house.

She drives a Mercedes-Benz........

2008-07-25T13:03:00.001-07:00

We have settled on my wrecked car. They called me on Monday to tell me what the payout would be and ask where they could pick up the totaled car. I thought it was a low price, and also low of them to call me instead of MFH.

MFH called them back and told them not to send out the check until they found a few more cars, or not, that compared to the one I lost in the accident and came up with a more fair settlement. And, until such time that we could agree, we would hold on to the car. He also found out the name of the insurance commissioner, and this guy's supervisor, just in case.

The next morning they called back with a fair price. More even than we were expecting. We released the car this morning, after getting the bulk of the money in the mail yesterday.

It makes you wonder how many people get screwed because they just don't know.

And, I have whiplash.

I am pissed about it because that is just so cliche.

Let me just say that I am no wimp about pain. I have a very high tolerance, but this effing hurts. I am on muscle relaxants and pain relievers, which do little good. It's okay for about an hour and then wham! If it's not better by Thursday I am supposed to return to the doctor, but for what? I don't know what more they can do about this but give it time. However, I will go, and I will not sign any release until I feel better.

I feel bad for the lady who hit me. It was her first accident and it was a doozy. I am worried that her insurance company will drop her after this.

Then again, maybe they should.

Down

2008-07-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday.

I am a little down in the dumps.

Since the loss of my brother, and then the arrival of my son, I've tried to make a big deal about birthdays. It's important to The Boy and he gets very excited whether it's his birthday or someone else's birthday. MFH, who is normally so thoughtful, didn't take him to buy a gift (or pick out a free gift, which would be the kittens that I wanted).

The Boy's disappointment could be the reason behind my mood.

Or maybe it's the BIG milestone birthday that is right around the corner in 2009......

Going 4 Gold

2008-07-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

From the Parade of Athletes at the Opening Ceremonies, to the medals presentation after the last game....the 2008 Big.Sky.State.Games were a success!

The team minus one - there was a wild fire in the area and his home was evacuated so he was unable to make the parade.

We registered The Boy as a goalie, and because several teams entered without a goalie, they had the option of asking The Boy to play for them. He played three games in a row, two for his team and one for another team. In his fourth game, playing for an opposing team, he dropped down to block a shot and was unable to get back up, so we pulled him. After a rest and some sugar, he was able to finish the day.

Making a save!

He ended up medaling twice - his registered team took third place and got the bronze.

He goalied in the championship game for an opposing team and they won, so he took a gold medal with them.

Way to go!

Liability

2008-07-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Her insurance company has assumed liability for the accident. This, after interviewing both of us and making sure our stories meshed, and after asking me if I had exchanged angry words with her.

WTF?

I'll admit I was pissed and I got out of my car intending to let her have it. But The Boy was hysterical and he was my main concern, so I tended to him. It was much later when I spoke to her, and I felt bad that she was so shook up, so I was nice.

I am going to the doctor today because I am having some pain that I think should have subsided by now. Better to be safe.

The adjustor came to look at my car yesterday. The last time I got hit, the adjustor came to look at the car when nobody was around and we got screwed. This time we towed the car to MFH's worksite and they had to deal with him. It will be interesting to see what they come up with. We had insurance that covered collectable cars, and we had a specific dollar value on it that would cover our losses if an accident was my fault. He tried to get out of MFH what that dollar amount was. Right. I want what I'll need to replace that car, not what I paid for the one that I already owned that your client wrecked.

They went through the car and MFH pointed out all the options on the car that would add value to it. The 17 year old adjustor declared the car to be a total loss.

"17 years old?" I asked.

"He couldn't have been much older than that," MFH said. "As we were walking around the car, he wondered aloud why the airbags didn't go off.....on a car made in 1977."

82

2008-07-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

That is the age of the woman who hit me.

Now, I'm not saying she should not be driving, but how could she not have seen me? The car could not be a more noticeable color.

The police would not administer "fault" but did tell MFH that they will issue her a right of way violation.

Her insurance card was expired, but I am hoping she simply forgot to put the new card in her car.

Tomorrow I'll go pick up a copy of the police report and notify my insurance company.

My right ankle is sore and swollen. My neck, chest and upper back are stiff and sore. The Boy also complains of a sore neck. But it could have been so much worse!

For that, we are grateful.

When a good day goes bad

2008-07-11T15:49:00.001-07:00

you drink wine.

I left work early today.

A few years ago, I taught my son the concept of playing hooky.

He's in swimming lessons this summer, and once a week I go watch. He always wants me to play hooky for the remainder of the day. As it happens, this session his lessons are at 2:00 in the afternoon. Today I got permission to have the rest of the day off and surprised him at the pool.

We were off to enjoy the rest of our day.

A lady zoomed across a busy street in front of me and we collided.

Hard.

We both spun around and collided again.

The Boy's seatbelt broke. BROKE. But it did it's job and restrained him, and he is fine.

My seatbelt did it's job, too. I am very, very sore in the upper back, but I am alive.

My Mercedes is totaled.

Damn.

I wish I had stayed at work.

Summer games

2008-07-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

We hosted the Fourth of July picnic that my in-laws used to host at their house. Before we moved here, we would travel the 300 miles just to attend. Now that we are here, they quit having it. It pissed me off, so I decided to host it myself. We bought the chicken and made the baked beans, and asked everyone else to bring a side dish and their own drinks. It was fun, and not nearly the hassle she made it out to be.

We invited one family who has a son The Boy's age. They played on the same hockey team, and were opponents in soccer and baseball. Mom CC asked if we were interested in putting The Boy on a 3 on 3 ice hockey team in TheBigSkyStateGames. We had received emails and mailers about it, and really hadn't given it much thought.

The Games are Olympic-style contests on a much smaller scale, for athletes of all skill levels and ages. Most of your states probably hold the same type of contests locally.

I asked The Boy and got a resounding "YES" in answer.

CC thought we needed three players. Well, hockey players tire, so we really needed six players so they could take shifts on the ice. We also need a goalie, which is no problemo, as The Boy would say - he has all the gear and loves the position. But we needed three more players.

So, I spent Monday and Tuesday evening putting together a team of seven 5 - 8 year olds and getting them registered by Wednesday, while MFH rounded up a certified coach and jerseys for the boys, and contacted our old community to put a team together so we'd have some competition at our age level.

The Games are next weekend.

We have no ice yet, and these kids haven't been on skates since the end of March. It should be fun!

Time flies when you're having fun

2008-07-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe that today I've been married to MFH for seventeen years.

This was my gift.

No, I don't deserve him.

But neither does anybody else.

Natural Selection

2008-07-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

I just saw a young man riding a motorcycle and talking on his cell phone.

In rush hour traffic.

Very talented.

And very stupid.

Wanted: One Sister

2008-06-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

Aged seven

Named Trinity

I explained to the wonderful man that answered the phone, and with whom I engaged in a conversation about foster care, that The Boy's friend has a sister that fits this description.

"Well, perhaps I should give you the phone number for the local cloning laboratory," he laughed. "We've had a great deal of luck in that department."

I laughed, too.

I used this story merely as a way to break the ice.

I have always felt there was another child out there that needed me. I also realize that I am lucky to have The Boy and it is definitely fulfilling enough if that is the end of the road for me as a parent. I will be fine either way.

I have checked into W.endy's W.onderful Kids. These are the children that have been in the system the longest. They are mostly teenagers.

I have checked into foster care adoption. It is a long road. I am not finished researching this - in fact, I don't think I've even delved beneath the surface. The wonderful man made it clear to me that not many of the kids in his system that would actually be considered for permanent placement would be a good fit for our family due to our own limitations. I really am looking to adopt, not foster. At this time I don't think I am up to the challenge of the roller coaster that comes with waiting for the court to sever parental rights. While I agree with that philosophy, it does not fit with the goal of expanding my family.

And, of course, I have looked into domestic adoption. I told him that I would likely be considered too old for this category. He asked my age and pointed out that he'll find it out anyway, to which I replied, and he said, "Aw, you're just a kid."

I am in love.

Anyway, that's where we are at right now. I do not want to mess with our family dynamics - I feel it's important that The Boy remain the elder child. The Boy insists that he wants an older sister.

"Three year old sisters are a pain," he said to me.

So are six year old boys, at times, I thought.

Bringing up baby

2008-06-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

MFH and I had very different upbringings.

My parents were very affectionate with each other and with us. I can count on one finger the number of times I remember getting a physical scolding from my parents. Not that I probably didn't deserve it more, but that wasn't how my parents disciplined us. My mom would raise her voice - though I wouldn't consider her a screamer - and all it took from my dad was a disapproving look or a threat. Our household was not neat as a pin - but we had a lot of quality family time and that is what I remember most.

MFH's mom was a screamer and a physical disciplinarian. She was quick tempered and strict. She would spend all night Friday cleaning house and the rest of the weekend bitch because she spent all Friday night cleaning. The kids were expected to be tidy, and if it wasn't up to her expectations, she would mess it up and they would do it over to her satisfaction. His father always worked two jobs and wasn't around a lot in the evening.

Our biggest differences of opinion arise in our parenting styles. I distress over this frequently. I am very tolerant of the little things, like squirming at the dinner table. I decided long ago to choose my battles carefully, so as to have some leverage when it came to the big stuff.

MFH is hard on the boy, much like his mother was with him. He is very intolerant of the little things, like squirming during dinner or board games. I attribute these things with six year old boys, while he thinks it is controllable behavior. He thinks The Boy's actions are deliberate and meant to push his buttons. While I do think The Boy is capable of that, I don't believe he spends his days conspiring ways to bug his dad.

Recently I was speaking to a friend that is working on her master's degree in counseling. She is MFH's aunt, so she was around to witness his upbringing. She told me that when we get angry, we resort to what we know - which is how our parents raised us.

Certainly we are all guilty of being too hard on our loved ones at times. Admittedly, I have regrets of my own when it comes to The Boy.

It's never been as important an issue to me as it is right now.

We are talking about adding to our family.

Dense

2008-06-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

MFH's words; not mine.

My MIL called to say she would be in town tomorrow, and asked if she could spend the day with The Boy.

I reminded him - not without addressing the incident. We didn't call her to discuss it, because I figured it would be best to do so when it would hit home the hardest - when she wanted to spend time with him.

So he did.

He told her that she is not to discuss anything regarding the adoption story with our son.

"Oh!' she exclaimed. "I didn't realize that he didn't know."

That he is six years old and extremely bright, yet he didn't know his given name, didn't register with her?

Give me a break.

Overstepping boundaries

2008-06-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

My MIL took my son on a little roadtrip yesterday. MFH's sister and her family are moving to Alaska for two years, and they brought all their worldly possessions to Wyoming to store. The Boy got to spend the day playing with his cousin, and that was great.

We met my in-laws for dinner last night to pick up The Boy. Right at the end of dinner, he said, "Mom, what is my real name?"

I said his name, of course.

"No, I mean my name in Guatemala."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Grandma! What was my name in Guatemala again?"

And she smiled, repeating what they had obviously talked about earlier.

In what world was that information hers to give?

I said, "We are leaving. Your name is -----. Let's go."

As adoptive parents, it is our responsibility to share his story, and we feed him as much as we want him to absorb at any one time. There are parts of his story that our parents know that we may never want him to be told. I have been sorry for a long time that we shared a lot of it with our families, and I would take it back if I could.

I wonder to whom else she has blabbed his story?

MFH needs to address this with her.

I am so angry.

You can lead a dog to water.....

2008-06-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

but you can't make him swim.

Our old labs were like fish in the water. I vaguely remember MFH walking into the deep part of the river and we would call the yellow pup so he'd swim back and forth between us. The first time we got my black pup near the water, he took flight over the bank and never looked back.

We went camping last weekend, and I was really looking forward to getting the dogs to the water for the first time. How awful is that? They are 11 months old and have never been swimming. Of course, we didn't get them until mid-September, and there weren't many opportunities to hit the water between then and now.

This is how they looked.

We laughed our asses off.

Left scratching my head

2008-06-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

I have set The Boy's summer schedule based on knowing that his grandmas were going to take care of him. It was one of the reasons they pushed for us to move here - they would be able to spend more time with him and, when I went to work outside the home, take care of him for the summer sans daycare.

So - he has gymnastics on Wednesdays for one month. He has golf on Tuesday and Thursday for two months. He starts swimming later this month, Monday through Thursday, for six weeks. We have a day camp for one week, and a hockey camp for one week, both in August. I have found a summer lunch in the park program where the kids eat and have story hour, twice a week, near my mom's house.

Too much?

Perhaps.

Friday is completely free every week. That day his cousin wants to come and play. She is ten. I asked my MIL if she would come to the house that day to supervise. I also asked her to take any other day of the week to spend with him. They live 30 miles away from us, and I didn't expect her to drive in more than two days a week. My mom will take him the other three days. Since my mom is 78 years old, I wanted to break up the week so she isn't overtired. I thought we were all set.

Until this weekend.

I couldn't get my MIL to commit. In fact, she flat out said that she figured the cousin and The Boy would be fine here alone all day on Fridays. SHE IS 10 YEARS OLD. Are you freakin' kidding me? Am I over reacting? I don't feel she is old enough to be in charge of my son all day. If I had suggested that idea, I would have expected my MIL to go postal on me. She didn't offer to spend any other days with him. I finally dropped it.

Today MFH called her and tried again. He got the same thing. As he dug, though, he got to the root of the problem. My in-laws have an almost 15 year old shitzu dog that they won't leave home alone. They have to carry him everywhere and he can't be left inside or outside all day. Because he pees all over the floor, I don't really want him here.

When my old black lab was getting up there, I recall how she told me to "let him go with dignity and hang onto the good memories". How "I shouldn't be selfish and keep him around when he was suffering". The only difference I can see between my old black lab and her dog is that I couldn't carry my lab around, so I had no choice but to let him go.

And is it anybody else's place to give such advice anyway? I hate to even think how she would have unleashed on me if I had dared to say such a thing to her. The difference is that I never would tell anyone when it was time to end their dear pet's life.

I am frustrated and hurt that she has placed her dog's care above that of her grandson.

He made the grade

2008-06-08T21:22:00.001-07:00

We are on a break

2008-06-05T19:27:00.001-07:00

The Boy played his last T-Ball game last night.

I shouldn't even call it T-Ball, because half way through the season my brother, who assisted MFH with coaching, started pitching to the kids. Once they got a taste of that, there was no going back to hitting the ball off the tee.

The Boy is all about the uniforms and gear that athletes wear, yet I was unable to get him into a pair of baseball pants. I found that odd. He couldn't explain it, he just refused to wear them. Maybe because they are an odd blend of polyester, in which case I say he has excellent taste.

Anyway, baseball is over.

As gas quickly approaches $4.00 a gallon, we welcome this reprieve from running The Boy to sporting events two or three times a week.