Stiletto

Just a mom raising The Boy (adopted from Guatemala) along with my fabulous husband (MFH). I am a shoe whore, especially of the high heeled variety. Hence, the nickname.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

He talks good

MFH has some cousins that are kind of backwards. One time the girl cousin said of her child, "He is starting speech soon because he just don't talk good."

At least she was getting him some help. And, I don't think she was talking about his grammar or vocabulary - just that you couldn't understand the child.

The Boy started speaking in three word sentences when he was about 18 months old. Now I am his mother and admittedly I don't know if that's good or bad - it's just one of the things that sticks out in my mind about him at that age.

But, he also uses good grammar. I'd like to think I do, too, but I am not one of those mothers that goes around correcting everything he says. So besides setting an example for him, I can't really take credit for it.

The other day he told me he wished he had a cell phone so he could call me during the day. I told him that would be very nice. Then I said, "Hey. Maybe I could buy you a car, and then you could just drive on over to see me instead."

"I can't drive!" he said.

"Sure you can. When we stop to get the mail at the end of our lane, you drive home almost every night," I replied.

He says, "Badly!"

Badly. I wondered how he knew to add the -ly.

Is that what they learn in kindergarten now?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A spot of tea

My MIL called MFH and told him she has tickets to a "tea" on Saturday afternoon. She wants me to go with her.

It's at an old, restored mansion in town. She says it's very fancy.

What would one wear to such an event?

Any ideas would be welcome.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

"Fun"draiser

Meet Joel, our hockey player from last year.

Every year we had a banquet at the end of the hockey season. The players have two jerseys - one home and one away. The booster club auctions the away jerseys off at the banquet to raise money for the next year. They choose five players for a live auction and the rest are silent bids.

Last year, Joel was on the live auction. He was the last one to be auctioned off. The previous player went for $1500. When Joel took the stage, I yelled "You have to raise the bar, Joel. Take it off!" So he did.

We have a jersey from every player that has lived at our house, except for one. Joel. His mother and I bid each other up last year, in jest. I let her have it at $700.00. After all, he was with me for one season but with her for all of his life.

The hockey club here doesn't participate in such folly. Too bad. It's all in good fun.

We played the old team last night in our last game of the regular season. They won, and I loudly cheered for them.

Tonight is their banquet. We couldn't be there, but through a friend I am bidding long distance on Joel's jersey again this year.

Again, he is on the live auction, but he told my friend "This year, I'm not stripping!"

I'll let you know what it costs me.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

On parenting

One of my best friends became a mother long before I did. Certain things she has said about parenting over the years have stuck out in my mind.

For instance, she once said, "I pretty much live by the philosophy of whatever makes him happy" regarding her young son. I'll never forget that, because at one time I thought how I would never be that kind of mother.

But, some days? It works really well.

Not long ago, I commented to her that sometimes parenting was much more difficult than I had ever imagined. She replied, "I don't think one single part of parenting was too difficult. Every single day was worth it."

Now, I didn't mean to imply that my son was not "worth it". He means the world to me and then some.

On this morning? After being up most of the night with him, and then not being able to do even one single thing to make him happy once we just gave up and got out of bed?

This morning being a mom was just plain HARD.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Choosing a book by it's cover

The Boy has Library every Wednesday. I always look forward to seeing what book he chooses because more and more it's one that he and his dad can enjoy together - the wonders of motocross, motorcycles, etc. Plus, as a child, I looked so forward to library every week and I have tried to instill my love of books (even though I currently have no time for recreational reading, with the exception of his nightly story) into my child.

Last week I opened his backpack to find An.Inconvenient.Truth by that one time vice.president that invented the internet.

Now, as a librarian, would you let a five year old choose that book? Wouldn't you try to steer him in a different direction?

When I asked him why he chose that book, he said, "I just liked the pictures."

At least he didn't lie and say he got it for the articles!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

A promotion, I think

When I was hired at the burger joint, the Head Bitch told me that she envisioned two people in the department doing all the work.

Last week, the Accounts Payable person gave her notice. This is the same person that was competing for my job. They were not happy with her attitude - saying she is not a "team player" - so her giving notice didn't break anyone's heart.

I was about to approach HB with the suggestion that I do both jobs for a significant pay raise, when she beat me to the punch. "They are not going to want to rehire for that position. I think this is an opportunity for both of us to make more money if we split her duties," she said to me.

I agreed.

I have spent the entire last week shadowing A/P. This is no easy task, as we have 22 going on 23 locations, and that is a lot of bill processing. I am a quick study, and I love A/P, so I have been busy but not overwhelmed.

N.ikki's (A/P) last day is this Thursday. I have two things to address before she leaves.

So far, nothing has been mentioned about how much more money I can expect.

And, I am the only one that is learning the job. That would not exactly be "splitting duties".

As an aside, I never realize just how quickly time flies until I notice the number of days that have passed between my posts lately. I guess working two full time jobs will do that to you.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Nice save!


Last week after the Tuesday night game, the Coach asked The Boy if he wanted to play goalie tonight.

It's the only position he's ever wanted to play. He puts these pads on at home almost daily and we play so that he can practice making saves.

We talked about how it would be different on the ice than it is on our laminate flooring, and how it would be much more difficult with actual skates on.

He was really very good.

He has played this game a thousand times in his head and in his dreams.

And it went exactly how he planned.

Friday, February 08, 2008

The one where my jaw hit the floor

I've mentioned before that we don't always offer up info about how our family was formed, but when you work for a place that advocates adoption, good news travels fast.

One of the ladies I work with has a step-daughter. For the record, I hate that term and don't use it. She is a daughter, plain and simple. The Girl is five and has been in my friend's life since she was two.

We were talking about things the other day and she mentioned that once in awhile she will brush The Girl's hair. I'm thinking, once in awhile? because that is something I loved as a child and would love to do if I had a daughter - whether she liked it or not. I threw out there that at five years old her daughter must be pretty independent. We still do lots of things like that for The Boy - yes, even comb his long, curly locks for him because heaven only knows how that long hair would look were he to take care of it -or not- on his own.

My friend said, "Well, T***'s been through a lot being from a broken family and all. She's pretty independent."

"I've never been one to come running when she falls or cries, but then it's probably because SHE IS NOT PHYSICALLY PART OF ME AND I DON'T HAVE THAT BOND WITH HER."

I've never had that problem concerning The Boy.

I left the room feeling very sad for that little girl.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

It turns out we might know something about parenting after all

The Boy's principal called me last week and requested a meeting to go over his new behavior management program so that we are all of the same page. I agreed because we had a minor bit of miscommunication, and because, as a former teacher, I think those lines of communication should remain open at all times.

I was there, along with his teacher, the principal, and the school district's Behavior Management Specialist. I am glad she was there. She had some good suggestions for managing kindergartners in general. She kept repeating what MFH and I have been saying all along - "These are five year old children." I think we all came away with some good tools and good information.

Two things in particular stand out in my mind, and I wanted to share them with all of you:

1. Punishment at this age level should start over at mid-day. These children need to have the opportunity to make a bad day into a good day, instead of starting off on the wrong foot and then compounding the problems.
2. Behavior that is punished at school should not be punished at home. (Remember us refusing to take away his hockey?????) We should talk with him about what went wrong and how he might have handled it, but not make a negative into a double negative.

Mrs. R is revamping the behavior expectations of the whole class, and the Behavior Specialist is coming in to observe them in action.

A lot of the behaviors that his teacher pointed out are not things that we see here at home. Honestly? I think it's because he's our only child and the entire world revolves around him. That's not a bad thing in and of itself, but he wants that one on one attention with his teacher - or any adult - as well. That's why it's not a punishment for him to go to the principal - he likes her. He is alone with her.

We have some things to work on here at home. My child is co-dependent, but he is not to blame.

I am.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Sick of sick

Poor Boy.

His most excellent report card noted that he was absent seven days in the second quarter - the five days directly before Christmas break and two days shortly after they returned to school.

All since he saw the ENT that recommended removing his tonsils and adenoids, and putting tubes in his ears.

Concidental? Perhaps.

All last week he complained of a sore under his tongue. Now, he does get canker sores so we didn't think much of it even though we couldn't see any sign of a sore. We put O.rajel in his mouth to appease him.

Now I wonder where exactly the pain originated.

Yesterday he woke up feeling puny and got worse as the day progressed. He was better this morning, but stayed home with my mom. When I came home, his fever was very high. I looked in his throat just because, and it looks like his tonsils are infected.

Or he has strep.

In any case, it looks like we are off to the doctor for a second opinion.

Friday, February 01, 2008

It's finally final

He signed the papers yesterday.

He's moving in today.

The old (small, so much smaller than the new) mortgage is paid off.

We'll have our check Monday.

Ironic is that just this morning (a bad one) I was wondering why the hell we moved here in the first place.